M's way

what to blog

2012-01-13T22:24:00.002Z

I don't blog enough, I know I don't. To be honest I wonder sometimes if I shouldn't just delete this blog .... but then again, when I do blog its good ... isn't it?

So why don't I blog more? I dunno, maybe cos I think my life really isn't all that exciting, or that when stuff does happen, its not something I can blog about.

But then what is the point of a blog, if not the careless, meandering path of my rather muddled brain ?

This made me cry ....

2011-11-29T15:15:00.002Z

It's not often that it happens, but today I cried, in fact I sat with tears streaming down my face...... With laughter.

Blame Dan over at 0ddness blog lol.

want to see what I found so funny??

Click here to see rofl

Shit

2011-11-02T14:46:00.001Z

Shit happens... thats what they say isn't it. Well shit has happened and we have to deal with it. We know the truth and in time so will the rest of the world.

now to deal with it and to repair the damage.... hope we can

Back again ... for now

2011-09-01T11:41:00.003+01:00

I make no apologies for not posting much over the past few weeks. Its been the school holidays, and we have been exceptionally busy with the children. That would not usually stop me from posting, though blogging has been extremely sporadic over the past year or so, but we have been on the road, which did seriously limit me in posting anywhere on the net.

Well, now we are home, it is almost time for the children to return to school. So its back to being confined to barracks, limited to travelling at the weekends, and generally pretending to be normal for a bit.

So what is new with us?

Skye- We have had a few scares with her, but she is doing ok now. She had, at her own request, her hair dyed purple/pink over the hols, fortunately despite me using the wrong dye, it has now almost washed out, could of been interesting explaining that away to her head teacher if she had turned up bright purple hey!!

Garin- Garin, is his normal cheeky, lively self. Hair-wise he wanted a mohawk, like Daddy and Uncle Soggy have, so that is what he got at the start of the holidays, which later turned bright blue hehe. Decided that as the dye has all but gone, we are going to let him keep the mohawk, which he is over the moon about.

Gary - usual self ;-)

Me - Grumpy, in pain, and working hard ... yep normal here too BUT in other news, I am now offering Tarot card readings, at the moment in return for a donation (set amount) to the Childrens Heart Federation so if you would like a reading, let me know. All readings in Wiltshire, face to face, in very rare and exceptional cases I will do readings by phone, but this is not usual practice for me. Depending on distance/timing etc, I can occasionally do readings in other parts of the UK, but you will need to contact me for details.

I will be setting various things up in the next few weeks, including a Facebook page, web page etc. Details to follow as it is all set up.

Meantime, if you would like a reading and do not have my number, please email me on druidofthehill@yahoo.co.uk

Could it happen again?

2011-06-21T21:36:00.002+01:00

I write this post, as a Traveller and a Hippy.

It was the Solstice celebrations this week, over the weekend we camped up with a number of other friends and fellow travellers. We were out of the way, not close to local homes. We were clearing up after ourselves, as well as picking up after the tourists that came to stare at us. We were breaking no laws. We were merely parked up, chatting, laughing, cooking and sharing. We were peaceful and calm .....

So why did the local constabulary feel the need to harass us, repeatedly, frequently and in some cases aggressively. What did we do?? Nothing! Yet numerous times a day the police arrived and either drove or walked along the lines of vehicles, noting down number plates. More than once, as one police vehicle drove off, another appeared. the visits continued throughout the nights. Backed up of course by the force helicopter hovering overhead frequently. I've had reports that things up at Stonehenge were even worse, with officers giving drivers orders to park in a certain place, then another officer coming along moments later and ordering them away to yet another place, with a brusque 'can't park here'

My other half, spoke to a few of the police, one , when asked why he was taking our number plates, yet again, answered ' its orders, I've been ordered to do it, so I'm doing it' I asked him, aren't you curious? Don't you want to know? Why are you blindly following without thinking about this?

This particular officer, could not understand why we were so wound up.

Why were we? Why are we upset? Why, as we are doing no wrong, are we worrying about it?

The answer is simple. Operation Solstice aka The Battle of the Beanfield

In essence, on Jun 1st 1985, a convoy of travellers heading for Stonehenge, was attacked by the police. trapped and herded into a field, they had no way out. Then the police attacked. Men and women of all ages, pregnant women, mothers with babes in arms and toddlers clinging to their skirts, were attacked by the police. Beaten wioth truncheons, dragged through the broken windows of the living vehicles. Children were torn from their parents arms, the parents flung into police vans and driven to stations all over the UK. Many spent days in cells, unable to find out where their children were and if they were safe.

Ultimately Wiltshire Police were sued by individuals from the convoy. They won but the damages that were awarded soon disappeared in legal fees.

But that was all 26 yrs ago right? Surely the travelling community should be 'over it' by now?

Maybe they would be, if the attitude of the police had changed. In my dealings with the police since getting the truck, we have found that its roughly 50/50 good cop/bad cop. Some our cool, happy to chat and laugh with us. Some our arrogant, rude and aggressive, positively goading a reaction. Which they rarely get as most travellers are used to such attitudes and simply walk away.

But could their be a repeat of the Beanfield?

Frighteningly I have to say, I think there could be. As in 85. we are now living under a Tory gov't. As in 85, the media are allowed to print whatever they please, openly mis-portraying the travelling community, to turn public opinion. The police are being ever greater powers to prevent gatherings, ever greater powers to arrest on flimsy excuses, ever greater power to abuse their powers ...

It scares me. Let us hope I'm wrong, lets hope that the police will recruit only stable, controlled men and women, who will not misuse the powers given to them .....

Hope .. its all we do have

I am amazing .....

2010-09-28T22:30:00.003+01:00

I have a husband who loves me, who I love with all me soul, a gang of gorgeous, happy well adjusted kids, and the best friends in all the world. I have belief in things you know nothing of.

I am H.A.P.P.Y ..... and you are not going to put even the slightest dint in that happiness. Because you are truly not worth it. One day, and despite all that has gone on, all the hurt and pain you have caused to me, I hope, and truly hope, that one day you can become happy, well adjusted and have a life which makes you content. Not just because then you might actually piss off and leave me alone, but because I want you to be happy. I do not believe that trying to harrass me again will make you happy, its just another symptom of your own misery, trying to attack those whose happiness you envy. trying to drag them down so you are not alone in miseryville. Well, sorry and all that, but I am not planning on heading to miseryville, but I hope and pray that you can find your way out of it.

Happiness is out there, its yours, if you will only see that the only path to reach it lies within yourself. Light the torch, pick up your pack and prepare for a long, hard slog... it will be worth it if you make the effort

Saying No ... are heart kids spoilt?

2010-09-07T19:10:00.002+01:00

Are Heart Kids spoilt? A discussion a friend and I had recently has really hit home today.

Do we, as heart parents, we asked spoil our heart kids. Do they get more than they would do if they were healthy? Do they get away with behaviour that they would not do otherwise? Yes we decided, whilst we set limits, the heart kids to tend to get a little spoilt. But hey we decided they deserved it ...

Actually, I think it goes a little deeper than that. Heart parents spoil heart children because in many cases, they simply want to pack all the love, gifts and treats they can into the time they have. Only too well do we all know how precious and fragile the grip on life can be at times. How, in spite of the best efforts of doctors and parents, time can be limited. Who cares if they are spoilt, when their time here is so short? Put in that perspective, its hardly surprising is it?

But what about heart children who are not life limited? The ones who, fates willing, will live a near normal life, with one or two surgeries? The ones, pre op, that are not yet ill enough to need that surgery, but not quite as fit as their peers? Do they deserve to be spoilt? To get whatever (within reason) they want, whatever the cost?

Yep, I think they do. Why? because of all the things that you HAVE to say no to. Today Skye came home from school bubbling with excitement. She had a list of after school clubs to choose from. Cookery, Bible, hama beads, dance, gymnastics ..... and football. Skye, being Skye wants to go to football club. Its free, so why should I deny her? Because its outdoors, they wear lightweight clothing and it involves alot of running around.

Now any one of those on its own, would probably be a concern, but not a reason for saying an absolute No. She is doing pretty well at the moment. And I am so so grateful that she is. That she can run. So many heart children can barely even walk let alone run. But even my little princess has her limitations. The combination of the cold weather we can now expect as we move towards winter, the flimsy clothing of football, and the running around would spell disaster. As the cold bites, Skye gets bluer, her SATs drop, but being a stubborn moo (can't think where she gets it from) she will be determined to soldier on, to keep up with her peers. As she needs more oxygen to run, she will get bluer ... and who knows what happens next? I do not want to even think about it.

So tonight, for the first time in a long while I have had to say No to something Skye really wants to do. Skye was upset, I was upset. I sat with her, explained, and she knew I was right. She said she understood. But it doesn't stop me wanting to cry, that my little girl who is so tough, so brave and so WELL cannot do what she wants :-(

Am going to have a chat with the school tommorow, see if we can come up with some ideas, to help her deal with this. Maybe we can find a happy medium, so she can do something.. or maybe I will take her somewhere special to make up for it? Buy her a treat and spoil her just that little bit more.

I add to this another little thought. Another reason for wanting to spoil our heart children. Today a very beautiful little girl, should of started school. She was beautiful, brave, tough and she had a knackered heart valve. She had complications and ended up needing a heart transplant. She was fortunate, one of the lucky ones, she got her new heart. And she went home, to live life to the full. And live life she did!! Tragically, little Zoe Chambers had just one year of living a full life, before she passed away, in the loving arms of her mum. Today Zoe, should of put on a little uniform, marched into school, giving her mum that cheeky smile. Probably sending mum packing so she could get on with the fun. And Zoe, I hope that up in the Angels playground today, you did exactly that.

In Zoe's honour, in honour of all the other little heart angels who should be walking through the school gates, can you please please sign the organ donor register? But Zoe died I hear you say. Yes she did. BUT she had a year, a year of fun, mischief, of NORMALITY. Her family have a years worth of happy memories to counter the bad ones, photos and the knowledge that, because of the generosity of one family, one donor, Zoe Chambers was able to live her life to the max. Isn't it worth it? I think so. I am sure that Zoes family feel the same. For Zoe, please sign up NOW

Freaked, head out of sand.

2010-08-12T11:33:00.004+01:00

WARNING: Deals with heart related matters, including cardiac arrest. Could be distressing to some of my readers.

I have ARVC, I have a condition that could kill me. I know this. I live with it. I am one of the very lucky ones. I was diagnosed before I actually had a cardiac arrest. Most cases are not diagnosed until someone dies. I am LUCKY. I am alive and with the ICD I will not become another statistic. Most days I just get on with life. Due to the surgery I have lost partial use of one arm. I cannot drive, fly a plane, sky dive or go on a roller coaster, but heck I am alive so whats all that matter?

Actually 99% of the time nowadays I bury my head in the sand and forget about it. Or hide from it. But every so often something happens to kick me back to reality. last night was one of those occasions. Sat watching 'Bondi rescue' On Sky+ ... suddenly a man was pulled rom the ocean. Dead. The life guards had a defib, so they set to work and miraculously, they resusuitated him. He was rushed to hospital, where tests showed he has the same as me. So he had an ICD implanted. Lucky Guy. Very very lucky man, not that he has it, nor that the cardiac arrest happened, but that he was close to men who knew their job, who had taken the time to train to use the defib, who cared enough to keep going when all seemed hopeless. That they even has a defib there was pretty amazing too !!

It was good to see, see someone live where there should of been no chance. Good to see the Bondi Lifeguards do what they were trained to do and to keep fighting to save a total stranger, what heroes they are.

But it was so freaky, to effectively watch what could of been my own death, all the what if's are playing on my mind. Yeah, yeah I know I should pull myself together and count my blessings that I am still alive, that I was diagnosed in time. That despite the buggered arm, and the restrictions I can live a pretty normal life. That I can see my children grow up. But my head is still dwelling on it.

Below is the link to the video copy of the show. Please be aware this could be very distressing to some so watch with caution (or don't watch!)

Damned if they do, damned if they don't

2010-07-15T10:36:00.004+01:00

Sometimes I really feel for head teachers. It seems that whatever they do they are going to be damned by somebody. A report in our local rag today tells of the anger of parents at two schools, after it emerged that the school caretaker had been convicted of child porn offences.

The parents are not, according to the rag, angry at the pervert, no no, they are angry at the headteachers for not telling them as soon as they caretaker was arrested.

Whilst I can understand them being upset and worried about their children, do they not realise WHY the head didn't tell them? Simple, because if they had, then the pervert in question could have claimed an unfair trial, due to rumour and supposition in the local community and walked away free to commit further offences.

The Great British Justice system often sucks, but in this case it did exactly what it said on the tin and a guilty man was convicted.

The LAW said that the head(s) were not allowed to tell the parents, so why oh why are the poor sods getting the blame now?

Suppose they had told the parents, and the pervert had walked free as a result? Oh yes they would of been blamed again. Give them a break ffs. They are doing a job, to the best of their ability and within the confines of the law. End of.

And if you feel like blaming anyone, why not the sick bastard who committed the offences? Lets hope that his sentencing in August reflects, for once, the gravity of the crime and the effect on the victims

Choosing a new phone provider

2010-06-11T15:23:00.002+01:00

Right, I currently have two phones on two networks.

I have an internet camera phone (prety basic) on Orange.

I have a very basic phone on vodafone.

Orange - I currently pay 30 GBP a month on PAYG for unlimited texts and internet.
Drawback being that the internet is reguarly off, get error messages such as 'memory full' and it kinda pisses me off lol

Vodafone - pay 5 GBP a month for free calls to three nominated vodafone numbers (Gary, mum, brother) If I pay 5 gbp a week get free calls and texts at weekends (thought only 60 minutes allowed to a mobile grrr)

I WANT

Unlimited texts
Unlimited Internet
reliable Internet connection

So oh loyal bloggers, what do I go for? Is there a better deal out there for me? Must be on PAYG :D

TIA xxx

Disabled Army Veteran gives Anne Snelgove the Truth ...

2010-04-17T16:29:00.003+01:00

So there we were sitting in the garden, Gary and I, our good friends F and T, enjoying the sunshine, drinking tea and chatting.

The peace of a quiet Saturday, no 'Fat Alberts' to disturb the tranquility.

"Oooh I like to see voters in the garden' came a strident tone, as the Labour Parlimentary Candidate, Anne Snelgrove, came striding across the road, smiling as only a politician can.

"We've met before haven't we?" she gushed to F, as he leant on his walking stick (courtesy of the his army career)

The rest of us exchanged looks of total horror, as she shook hands (well fingertips) with us all.

"So where did we meet then?" she grinned

"At the Cenotaph" F replied through gritted teeth

" OH yes I remember"

"Yes when you insulted me" growled F, obviously not very happy

Anne, politicians smile never wavering for a second, " Oh?"

So F reminded her. Of the incident last Remembrance Day, when he and T had gone to the Cenotaph, after all the parade and pomp had gone, to pay their respects to all F's fallen comrades. And how she, Anne, was there, with a TV crew, who demanded that F and T move away quickly, straight away in fact, as they wanted to interview Ms Snelgrove.

"Oh I wasn't near you, it wasn't anything to do with me"

"You were stood next to the reporter" F reminded her

" Oh you know what the press are like" she smiled at F, " I hope it never happens again"

With a final patronising comment on T's pentagram badge, off Anne went like a ship in full sail.

Where is the apology Anne? Where is the assurance that you take on board what happened, and will ensure that it will absolutely NOT happen again?

My opinion, for what its worth, you are a career politician. Not a care for what your consituents think, want or need, as long as you get the power you crave.

And how come you didn't speak to Gary and I, the ones in the doorway, obviously the residents. Oh we didn't warrant a chat did we? Not even a goodbye as you left.

Personally speaking, the chances of me voting for you .....? About the same as you plaiting fog to be honest.

I have not forgotten the very rude and abrupt email you sent me, when I dared to remind you that you had promised to sign a Private Members Bill, and after three weeks your name still had not appeared on the list!!

But hey what do I matter? I am just a voter, one of the people who gets to choose if you keep your job. In my honest opinion, you got this job on the back of Julia Drown, who genuinely cared, who worked damn hard for Swindon.

Lets hope that post May 6th, we get a MP who cares more about this town and the people in it, than they do about themselves and their owh selfish desires.

Pissed Off of Toothill

(PS BTW was this your first visit to Toothill? I certailnly have never seen you here before... but then again, we have never had such a crucial election before have we???)

Watching the news --- aren't the media a funny old bunch??

2009-07-05T14:35:00.002+01:00

Just in case you have been living in a bubble recently,. Michael Jackson is dead....

And every single darn day since he died we have been bombarded by reports on every aspect of his life, death, and all things between and beyond.

Now I appreciate that there are many MJ fans out there, fair play to you, personally I couldn't stand the man, but hey he was not a bad singer. BUT Fgs do we really need to know EVERYTHING???? Was it really appropriate or respectful to film his body being takemn to the coroners from the hospital? Helicopters being sent over to film the body in body bag being loaded into a van was in my opinion, sick. What happened to respect?

respect by the way, in my book anyway, doesn't include lying!!! I have been honest on FB and in day to day life, about my opinion of MJ> I have been honest when I say that IMO re the child abuse allegations, I think he bought himself out of trouble. Being found not guilty is different from having the charges dropped after paying an obcene amount of cash to the family of the 'victim'.

The most frequent bleat from the MJ fan camp has been ' oh but he wasn't found guilty' ' it never went to court' blah blah and so according to them he was innocent. Well by that logic, was Hitler innocent of genocide? Was Fred West innocent of multiple murders?? They both avoided justice in court by killing themselves. MJ avoided justice in court by paying hush money to the purported victim. ( and justice could indeed of found him innocent, after all if there was no evidence he would of been found innocent wouldn't he???)

The most sickening remark I have seen though, coming from several sources, have been along the lines of ' well he probably did do it, but hey the kid got lots of money so its ok aint it???'

I'm sorry but WTF??? So by that logic abusing a child is fine as long as you pay the child concerned lots of money ..... isn't that called prostition? Is child prostittion not illegal in the western world???

Anyway guilty or inncoent, he is dead, and it is surely time to let him go. If not for his sake then for the sake of his kids. Three kids, who regardless of their fathers guilt or innocence, loved him. They deserve the right to mourn him in peace. Not have this all turned into the bloody circus it is at the moment.

Mind you this is just a repeat of what I whinged about a while back isn't it!!

Hospital .... again

2009-06-22T07:52:00.002+01:00

Well, April the 9th I was readmitted to hospital in Bristol. The ICD that was implanted in Feb had as always in my case gone wrong, and one of the wires had managed to dislodge itself from the right ventricle. So in I went, hung around all day (again) and finaly had the op done to reposition the wire.

Only at 10 pm that night (being the night before the easter bank holiday weekend, they did a quick test.... failure, a quick chest xray revealed that once again the wire has dislodged and as a result I was to stayt in until they could operate a third time. Unfortunatly, as previously mentioned, it was easter bank holiday weekend, so it was 5 days beofre I even got to see the consultant and a further 2 beofre they could actually do the op!! Finally though on 16th April they managed to do the op, and this time usisng a different type of wire, they were finally succesful woohoooooo.

Am making a very slow recovery this time, its been over two months and I am still not fully recovered, but hey I am getting there. So there you go, just one of many reasons why I have not updated the blog recently :D

Yes I am still alive ... honest!!

2009-06-22T07:29:00.002+01:00

Been a while hasn't it. Apologies for that. I have had to have my pc fixed, and now its home am having to slowly re-add everything, all my favourites, etc. But we are getting there ..... slowly!!

Been pretty busy here one way or the toher, and later today I will, I promise faithfully, sit down and blog about all the excitement we have had. It was Summer Solstice over the weekend, so quite a few pics to add on that one :D

Speak laters loves ya xxxxx

Musical Monday

2009-03-09T08:00:00.000Z

just cos I likes it :D

Crufts and animal rights activists

2009-03-05T16:57:00.002Z

Today marks the start of the biggest and best (IMO ) dog show in the world. Crufts!!

There is a lot of controversy surrounding this years show, due in no small part to a BBC 'documentary' about pedigree dogs and pedigree dog breeders. The documentary was, again imo, very one sided, poorly produced and appalingly damaging to all dog breeds in the UK. The documentrary investigated dog breeders, who bred dogs with genetic defects, but instead of balancing this with the breeders who work tirelessly to eradicate the same genetic defects, it left the viewer thinking that ALL breeders are the same. they are not. Yes, there are bad breeders, there is no avoiding that fact, but there are also a huge number who do their damndest to improve the breeds they are involved in.

Now, as a result of this show, the BBC then withdrew its coverage of Crufts on TV. No great loss in some peoples eyes, they used to be a right royal pita, spooking the dogs and getting under everyones feet!!

Also as a result of the programme, animal rights activists have threatened to sabotage the show, by releasing dogs from their benches and crates. These people claim to love and care about animals so much that they will do anything to protect them. In which case why on earth release dogs? What happens to the poor ruddy dog? It gets scared, lost, possibly escape from the building and onto the many busy roads and get killed. All of which is in the dogs best interests how exactly? In the same way as some years ago the same type of people released mink into the wild from mink farms. The mink were fine, they were free, however as they were not native to the UK they did immense damage regionally to many species of native animals.

I have no problem in the main with animal rights campaigners and activists. But the actions of a few do so much damage. they do not protect or support the wellbeing of the animals,instead cause immense damage and suffering. In the same way that a minority of breeders are rogues so a minority of animal rights campaigners are rogues. Please do not paint all breeders as evil animal torturers and don't paint all animal rights activists as manical idiots who cause damage and suffering to the animals. Its just a minority

However saying that, both breeders and animal rights campaigners need to weed out the rogue elements within their own ranks. Breeders and in particular the Kennel Club need to insist on only healthy dogs being used for breeding. The Kennel Club needs to stop registering pups that are not screened and proved healthy. that would go a long way towards helping solve the problem. Campaigners need to weed out the extremists, refuse to be associated with them, and iof they know they have broken the law report them. Maybe then all parties involved would realise they are actually singing from the smae song sheet!!!

All Change

2009-03-05T13:02:00.002Z

As you can see, I have changed the blog template again. I think the old one was quite hard to read at times and certainly it wasn'y easy to see photographs, so its all change. I have removed all the widgets for now, may or may not reinstall those. Will add more stuff down the sidebar too. Think I will leave the cbox off for now too as it was not being used much, except for the occasional spammer!!

Feel free to add comments, tell me what you think, love it, hate it , meh .... any suggestions welcomed but not necessarily acted on :D

She is growing !!

2009-03-05T10:42:00.004Z

Many of my readers know how hard it has been to get Skye to grow over the years, but here is proof, she has grown again :D She went off to the school disco the other week, all dolled up in her best togs, bit of make up etc, she is soooo girly, where the heck she gets it from I really do not know rofl Second pic is the two of them sat on doorstep. Garin is growing too Hehe

A bit of this

2009-03-04T16:35:00.002Z

I was going to post a long ranty post here, about people who make out their kids are much sicker than they really are in order to get some attention, particuarly those who have children who are 'fixed', whose child is the healthiest you have ever seen, yet insinuate that they are life limited. As I said I WAS going to post a ranty post but I am not ( and what I have written thus far is not ranting, well not by my standards hehe) because it would do no good. The sick mooses that say crap like that about their kids are so fecked in the head that they wouldn't get it anyway!!One day they will get a wake up call ... maybe. In the mean time I am going to talk about ....

Actually I have lots of stuff to waffle on about so will be back later when the kids are abed to do some proper waffling, subjects could include Crufts, animal rights activists, the weather (well I am english :D), families, charity shops, books ...

Any other subjects you care to discuss??

Cya l8r lya xx

Knitting round the guillotine 21st century style

2009-02-27T15:31:00.003Z

Excuse me if this turns into a rant, am trying to be level headed honest!!

This week I have to comment on the media. Three events in particular have occured, all of which I think certain media elements are taking to extremes.

Jade Goody, allegedly a celeb, is dying from cancer. I can't stand the woman, BUT I would not wish this on her. Nor would I wish the loss of their mother on her two sons. Whatever she has or hasn't done, she is a human being, she does not deserve this to happen and I do feel genuinely very sorry for her.

Wendy Richards, former Eastenders actress has died, also from cancer. A lady much loved by the soap viewing world, what a tragic event to befall her.

Ivan, the 6yr old son of David Cameron, the Conservative party leader, died this week. he had cerebal palsy and severe eplilepsy. 6 yrs old .... no words will ever be enough to express just how tragic his loss is.

All these are tragic events, devastating for the families. Of that there is no doubt. But the reaction of certain media outlets threatens to turn death into something akin to a spectator sport. Jade Goody, it is reported, sold the tv and magazine rights to her wedding for £1m. Everywhere you turn at thew moment there seems to be pictures of her, reports and interviews, each one earning her a nice little packet. I felt somewhat repelled by this, but after discussing the situation with a friend, simmered down a little. My friend pointed out that Jade is doing this for her sons, earning money to be invested for their futures. Well, I can understand that, and maybe she is right to do so. However where do we draw the line? It is widely reported that Jade has a TV crew following her, that she wants them to follow her story up to and including her death. Sorry, but that really, truly turns my stomach. death is not, or certainly should not be a form of entertainment. Do we really want to go back to the days where old women sat around the guillotine knitting, whilst men and women were executed? This kind of media circus that has sprung up around Jade Goody is no better than that. No dount when it is televised there will be viewers who will get their cupof tea, box of chocs and settle down to watch. To watch what though? To watch a fellow human being, a woman, a mother dying from cancer? What good will it do? I doubt it will do much good. She has already publicised her plight, reminding thousands of women to get themselves a smear test. Good on her and all respect for that. But what earthly good will fiming her death then broadcasting it do? Please if anyone understands why then please explain it, because I truly do not get it.

Ivan Cameron is another kettle of fish altogether. As many of my readers will know, the loss of a child is a tragedy that all too many have to face. No parent should ever have to bury their child, so many have to, its heartbreaking. The Camerons issued a press statement, explaining what had happened and asking for the press to respect their privacy at this time. Did they listen? Did they heck. Not all I hasten to add, many newspapers and TV news programmes/channels have been very good, reporting the facts, expressing their sympathy and condolences ... but one paper had a full page picture of the Camerons returning home just hours after Ivan had died. The pain and misery etched on the faces of the two loving parents was awful. It was a moment of extreme privacy, a moment that should have been for them and them alone. yet one paper had decided to sit and wait on their doorstep to catch them in all their misery. How dare they. How dare they intrude on the grief of a family who had just hourrs before suffered the worst tragedy that can befall any family. It was not good journalism, it was voyouerism pure and simple. I hope karma comes and bites the paper concerned on the backside very soon. They were not alone, a popular daytime/morning programme dedicated the first 15 minutes of their show to speculation as to what caused Ivan's death. FFS this was less than 12 hours after he died. Have some respect will you. Nor did they improve the next day, when they had a phione in dedicated to bereaved parents who might be suffering as Ivans death would of prompted bad memories. Yeah sure as if any bereaved parent does not remember their child every day anyway. It was patronising and intrusive in my opinion.

Wendy Richards, died quietly, out of the public eye. As , in my opinion anyway, it should be. The last moments of a persons life should be private, a time to be spent with loved ones, the time after the loss of a loved one should be private too, should be given to the family and friends of the person wgho died. Not a media circus.

I hope for many things this week, that Jade Goody can have a peacful death, that the TV comapny will have a dose of common sense and leave her dying moments to those who love her, not every man and his dog watching the goggle box, that she, Wendy Richards and Ivan Cameron can be laid to rest in dignity and peace. That their respective families can be allowed the peace, privacy and space to mourn.

But then we are talking about the British Press so no breath holding going on here!! There is a balance to be reached, between reporting the news and intruding at a time where privacy should be paramount. Some news outlets manage it, some papers report with sensitivity, someTV stations show an ounce or two of decorum. All respect goes to those people. For the rest, well heres hoping karma delivers judgement soon hey!!

Angel

2009-02-21T07:30:00.002Z

Today marks a day which will be with me for the rest of my life. The day a beautiful little girl, gained her wings and flew off the the Angels playground.

Bethany, was beautiful, she was mischeivous, she was funny and she bubbled over with character. I was never priveliged to meet her, but felt as if I knew her well, from her Dads regular updates, over at 0ddness . Bethy had CHD, she underwent a number of operations to give her a better quality of life and Bethy lived that life to the full. Shortly after her 4th birthday Bethy underwent another major open heart surgery. Tragically due to complications Bethy passed away.

I can vividly remember the day she got her wings. I had been busy that morning and I switched on the pc, hoping to read good news, that Bethy was getting better by the hour.

I clicked onto the website and read those awful words .... Bethy is an angel now ......

My legs gave way and I screamed at the computer screen, sat on the floor and wept. Wept for a beautiful, laughing, blond haired girl who I had never even met, wept for her parents Dan and Jodie, for her big brother Jaysen and the unborn baby her mum was carrying.

Why? Why would anyone feel that upset over a child they had never met? Simply because she was Bethy. Bethy had a magical effect on all that she came into touch with, even remotely via the internet. At her funeral there were wreaths from around the world, sent by the people who like me, fell under the spell of Bethy Angel.

February 21st 2005 is not a day anyone who knew Bethy will ever forget. Four years. Yet it seems like yesterday. Bethy, thinking of you as always, hoping that you are teaching the other CHD angels how to 'shake that ass' and sending buckets of love to Mummy, Daddy, Jaysen and Tamsyn.

Dan and Jodie I know this day will never be easy, but I hope and pray that the good memories of your time with Bethy outweigh the bad ones. That you can take some small comfort from the laughter and love that Bethy spread wherever she went. Love you guys xxxxx

How come in the 21st century ...

2009-02-17T12:38:00.001Z

We can send human beings millions of miles into space, but cannot save an ectopic pregnancy and move a baby two inches from a tube to a womb

We can clone a sheep ... yet we cannot stop babies being born with broken hearts

We allow people to spend £10,000 on cloning their dead dog, yet cannot wipe out third world debt

We spend hours a week watching others lives in soaps, crying in sympathy, whilst an old man in a neighbouring flat lies dead for weeks on end

When it rains we whinge its too wet, when its sunny we whinge its too hot, when it snows the entire country stops dead

We can sustain a human life in outer space, grow a life in a test tube, yet cannot save every baby born too soon

We have spent thousands of years fighting wars, yet still have not learnt that violence solves nothing

A man can kill a child, because he cannot be bothered to watch the road ahead, yet his punishment last less time than the child has lived.

A child can be tortured to death by the ones who should protect him without society noticing until it is too late. He receives more love after his death than at anytime during his tragic life.

What is wrong with the world? Human kind. Human kind can change the world, if only they would pull together instead of backstabbing, bitching and whining about the little things. Count your blessings, look at all you have, look at what you have in your life that is good, your children, their health, your health, a home, food to eat, warmth on an icy day, cold, clean water on a hot day. Give thanks to whatever entity you believe in for all you have, lambast those in power to change what MUST be changed. Protect the earth who gives you life, destroy the greed and selfishness that threatens to destroy us all.

Musical Monday

2009-02-16T22:49:00.001Z

Oh dear, bad blogger, I really will try to buck my ideas up and post a bit more this week ! Meanwhile my musical monday contribution .... just because its the mood I am in today

Musical Monday

2009-02-09T11:59:00.003Z

My Musical Monday choice. Its been a while since I did Musical Monday, for many reasons to many to list, but mainly because of feeling so ill. I knew I was ill, I knew I felt pants and knew that after my op I would feel better, even though there were always doubts and moments of blinding despair, monments when I really thought that it would be better of I did just go. I am still in recovery period, it will be 6 weeks before they can say the op was a success, but already I feel better. Lots better, almost frighteningly so, making me realise that I was even sicker than even I realised. I have energy though not able to use it quite yet, but getting there slowly. This past few days I have been thinking alot, reflecting on my life,the reasons for various things, and have come to the conclusion that some things have happened in my life for good reason. I am feeling so lucky today, that my condition was diagnosed when it was, that the research had been done, that the treatment had been developed and that because of that I have a chance to see my kids grow up. Life is not going to be simple, but at least I am going forward. So, whilst pootling around you tube, I came across this little gem from yesteryear. Listen to the words... it is so appropriate this week. This week is also CHD awareness week, but that is something I am going to blog about later. This video is dedicated to the researchers who found out about ARVC, who developed the treatments for it, and the surgeon who has given me a life worth living. And to all those affected by heart defects and heart disease. To those who are battling and to those who have gained their wings. Thank you all from the bottom of my rather knackered heart xxx

Every drop of rain that falls in Sahara Desert says it all
It's a miracle
All God's creations great and small
The Golden Gate and the Taj Mahal
That's a miracle
Test tube babies being born
Mothers,fathers dead and gone
It's a miracle

We're having a miracle on earth
Mother nature does it all for us
The wonders of this world go on
The hanging Gardens of Babylon
Captain Cook and Cain and Able
Jimi Hendrix to the Tower of Babel
It's a miracle it's a miracle it's a miracle
It's a miracle

The one thing we're all waiting for is peace on earth - an end
to war
It's a miracle we need - the miracle
The miracle we're all waiting for today

If every leaf on every tree could tell a story that would be a
miracle
If every child on every street had clothes to wear and food to
eat
That's a miracle
If all God's people could be free to live in perfect harmony
It's a miracle

We're having a miracle on earth
Mother nature does it all for us
Open hearts and surgery
(wonders of this world go on)
Sunday mornings with a cup of tea
Super powers always fighting
But Mona Lisa just keeps on smiling
It's a miracle it's a miracle it's a miracle

(wonders of this world go on)
It's a miracle it's a miracle it's a miracle
It's a miracle

The one thing (the one thing) we're all waiting for (we're all
waiting for)
Is peace on earth (peace on earth) and an end to war (an end
to war)
It's a miracle we need - the miracle
The miracle peace on earth and end to war today

That time will come one day you'll see when we can all be
friends
That time will come one day you'll see when we can all be
friends
That time will come one day you'll see when we can all be
friends
That time will come one day you'll see when we can all be
friends

My op ... bit gruesome so perhaps not for the fainthearted :D

2009-02-06T10:47:00.001Z

Been an interesting time lol. Got picked up by the transport yesterday morning, which was a miracle initself as the weather was pants. Got to Bristol just after 10am. Went to cardiology dept and they said to take a seat and they would be back for me about 11.30 ...... yeah right it was 2.45 pm before they arrived for me Took them three attempts to get the venflon in, my veins not being the best in the world!!

Op itself was a very weird experience. I was awake yet heavily sedated, so although I could feel them doing it, was off with the fairies!!They made a cut in my chest, through which they threaded the wires, which went in via a vein to my heart, one lead to each ventricle. They then made a 'pouch' by cutting the skin just below my collar bone, this was when things got really weird as I could feel them moving and pushing the pouch to insert the ICD. They then connected the wires to the ICD and switched it on.

They then induced my heart into Venticular fibrillation, or in simple terms stopped the ventricles from beating so the ICD could do its job. They did warn me that it was a bit like being punched or kicked in the chest, .... they were fibbing, its like being kicked by a ruddy elephant!!! They then stitched me up and off to the ward.

All went well, except they had given me mega doses of morphine and unfortunatly it has a rather horrible effect on me, so spent half an hour throwing up . Had quite a peaceful night then this morning all hellbroke loose. First they said I couldn't have transport due to snow, then said I could but it would be between 2pm and 8pm, then changed their minds again and withdrew that!! Eventually had no choice but to get a train. Got taxi up to Bristol Temple meads station, then onto train. Whilst on train two british transport police wandered along, so nabbed one, explained the problem, showed him my discharge letter and meds and even offered to show him the would (he refused ) and he very kindly got off the train with me, carried my bags and escorted me all the way down to the taxi What a nice man!! Taxi driver was prompted by my very nice policeman to carry my bags at this end, and Gary came dashing out to meet us.

I have a dressing over the wound, which camn be removed tommorow Stitches should dissolve in a week or so, and am on 'take it easy' rules for 6 weeks at least woohoo I get out of doing the night shifts and school runs!!!

Thank you all for all your good wishes and healing vibes, been much appreciated. xxxxxxxx

Stand by your people Gordon

2009-02-02T10:50:00.002Z

Now for a political rant. As I am sure you have heard, there are currently wildcat strikes occuring in the UK, in response to a major contract at the Total oil refinery in Lincolnshire to an Italian firm, who plan to import the workforce from Italy. The local workers are understandably more than a little peeved. They want the contract to go to British workers.

Yesterday Gordon Brown called the strikes 'indefensible' WTF?? Get a grip Gordon, these people are asking that you simply ensure they have jobs? WTF is wrong with that? Ity is not as if there is a shortage of available workers locally is there? But No No NO, we are Europe now aren't we, not Great Britain, so we must give the work to European workers. Meantime the unemployed British workforce will be forced to sign on and claim benefits, forcing the economy even deeper into recession. I am no politician, but even I can see that!!

Wake up Gordon and smell the coffee, before you find the pissed off populace rising up and kicking youe fat arse.

Snow

2009-02-02T10:45:00.002Z

Its snowing! That is all we have heard for the past 24 hours here. Well all I can say is No S**T Sherlock!! And in true English fashion (Note I say English, the Scots and the Welsh seem to be able to handle it much better than we do), the country is grinding to a halt. No buses running in London, trains and planes cancelled. We, here in Wilts had a fine dusting this morning and even here people were ringing the school to ask if it was shut? WTF? The amount we had then wouldn't of weven made a decent snowball let alone anything else!! It is now snowing fairly heavily on and off here, so might get enough to make a snowman byu midnight hehe.

Quite a few parents decided not to brave the snow this morning, again I say WTF???? I mean seriously people get a grip. If we had 8 feet of snow then I could understand it, but even in the worst affected areas we are talking a paltry 8ins (according to BBC breakfast news ;) )

Bloody laughing stock, thats what we are!

Skye and Garin cardiology appointment RESULT!!!

2009-01-23T14:03:00.002Z

After a very early start, we are now home. And the news is GOOD

The rate of flow through Skyes heart has slowed down significantly, which is a good sign. the stenosis has not improved though, so her heart has just figured out its own little way of coping with the problem. She shows no signs of ARVC at the moment. this will be kept an eye on though at her cardiac appointments. If she shows symptoms though, we will be seen very quickly. She was an absolute little star, for both echo and ecg, and showed off to the cardiologist and students how good she was about stethoscopes now ( she did have a phobia of them for quite a while) All in all a fantastic appointment for Skye.

Garin, despite token protests was actually very good, and had echo, ecg and examinations without complaint, though the looks he was giving were enough to kill!! His heart shows no sign of the ARVC at the moment, but like Skye he will need monitoring throughout his life.

All in all, a superb appointment.

Skye and Garin cardiology appointment take two

2009-01-22T23:34:00.002Z

No mistakes or cancellations this time, friday (tommorow/today depending on when you read this) the kids are both going for cardiac checks and I am dreading it. I am utterly convinced Garin is free of any problems, as no child with a heart problem could possibly have as much energy as Garin.(If you know otherwise please don't tell me, believing that is keeping me almost sane ;) ) Skye, I am nearly convinced is still doing ok heartwise, but she is not right. I am hoping that the dreaded flu that caught us over the festive season is just taking a while to fully clear away, am hoping desperatly that the symptoms she is showing are not heart related.

On a lighter note, we have got a hospital transport booked to get us there, due to the current situation with my health as much as anything. Tonight we found out that we have one car coming for Gary and Garin, and another for Skye and I!!!! Go figure

I was ....

2009-01-22T23:33:00.001Z

going to blog about this local story, but Swindoncentric beat me to it!!

Only in Swindon

2009-01-18T17:04:00.004Z

Hmmm now here in Swindon we have this thing called the Swindon Community Safety Partnership

In essence they are a a meeting of the great minds (?) of swindon who work together to keep us all safe.

Well, they might and they might not achieve their aim, but judging by the leaflet they sent out shortly before xmas, someone there needs to do a little proof reading. see if you can spot the mistake in this ;)

Not to mention the plethora of spelling mistakes 'neice' (i before e except after c)and acess being just two examples.

Does it fill you with confidence in their ability? Nope me neither rofl

Footnote: I am no great speller myself, nor do I knock anyone who has difficulties in this area and will no doubt edit this twice to correct my own mistakes, but then again I am not supposed to be preaching to an entire town ;)

Hero of the year

2009-01-16T19:57:00.001Z

Chesley B "Sully" Sullenberger III , odd name perhaps but this guy deserves a ton of medals after the airplane he was flying suffered a bird strike. despite losing both engines, he managed to glide the Airbus A320 away from the closely packed buildings and land in the Hudson river. Not only that he landed so perfectly that the aircraft floated long enough for alkl the passengers and crew to disembark, then mr Sullenberger, checked and double checked the aircraft to ensure that all persons were safe before he made his own way to safety.

Secondly the crew, the flight attendants who kept calm and professional, ensuring a swift and safe evacuation of the aircraft. All the training in the world, can not help when actually faced with every flyers worst nightmare.

Thirdly the passengers, who kept their heads and obeyed the direction of the flight crew.

And not to forget the ferry boat captains and the plethora of small boats who sailed swiftly to the rescue, picking up the passengers from the wings and inflatables where they waited.

Not one life was lost. Not one!! I call that a miracle. Bravo and encore to all involved.

Prat of the year award goes to ....

2009-01-16T19:53:00.002Z

Johnny Knoxville, aka Philip John Clapp of 'Jackass' fame, is possibly facing charges after trying to board a plane at Los Angeles arport, with a 'toy' grenade in his hand luggage. He claimns it was accidental, but I personally doubt it. With high security at all airports, this was not funny. In fact I am just amazed that he did not get shot on the spot. Would of served him right too

Thanks Gordon

2009-01-16T19:43:00.002Z

Well, good ole Gordon has done it for swindon hasn't he. Thanks to the complete and utter F**kUP he and his predecessor B'liar have made of this countries economy we are facing an horrendous few years. Now do not get me wrong, i think that recession comes around whoever is in charge, its the way it goes. But Gordy and B'liar with the rest of the inept inbred eejits currently in charge have fecked it up better than any other gov't has ever done.

Gary lost his job back before xmas. Not a major problem. Swindon is not a difficult place to find work, with many major companies having their bases here. But since the start of the year, we have lost Woolies, not just the store, but the distribution centre, we are now watching in despair as Honda go on shutdown. originally for two months, feb and march. Today we have heard they are now extending that shutdown for a further two months. To be fair to Honda, they are doig their best to keep the factory going and secure the jobs of the 4000+ staff employed there. But as the workers will be on half pay, and will be in effect sitting at home twiddling their thumbs, then there is going to be a huge number chasing the temp jobs. Add to that number the 1000ish offered redundency from Honda, the Woolies workers, not to mention the increasing number of other businesses cutting back on staff, shops closing, lack of money to spend leading to cut backs in the leisure market .. swindon is not going to be a fun place to be job hunting over the coming months.

2009 Happy New year

2008-12-31T22:33:00.003Z

I am not going to dwell much on the past year of our lives. Its been a challenging year thats for sure.

In the negative column, I lost the support of a particular 'support group' at a time when I needed support like never before, due to the actions of one individual. My stepdad had cancer, I was dx with ARVC and listed for surgery. Skyes health is giving cause for concern as well. Mike left home. And thats just the tip of the iceberg!!

In the positive column, I found out after the debacle of the so called support group, who I could really count on. I have discovered that I am blessed with some incredible friends. They have been there for me every step of the way, to mention but a few, Bev, Kymm, Karen, Kelly, Rhona, Clare, Nicky, Mand, Anna, JC, Doro, .... as I say this is just a few, there are many many more!I have found that the person who tried so hard to destroy me, is the real loser. I am to busy and fulfilled to waste my time trying to screw up someone elses life, especially when that person truly needs help. The person who did it to me, has such a sad and unfulfilled life that they need to make themselves feel important by attacking others. Sad. I have seen my son, despite all his problems, turn from my little boy into a mature, responsible adult, even though I miss him and his brother like mad!! I have found the world of animal rescue, and increased our family rather more than we should hehe. I was raised to the Loyal Arthurian Warband and have worked hard, to support and further the Free Stonehenge campaign. Acheiving some infamy after my meeting with David Cameron into the bargain, an encounter which still makes a certain royal personage crack up laughing when he remembers it hehe.

What are my hopes for 2009? I want to see many things, most importantly I am hoping and praying that the heart kids of the Haven and beyond have a good, healthy 2009. That those in hospital get home quickly, that surgeries are not cancelled, that all go smoothly and have quick recoveries.

I hope that all my kids get passed free from ARVC when they have the screening tests this year. I hope that Skye's current issues are not due to the thing we think it is. I can't even bring myself to put the words here, but you all know what I am talking about.

I pray my stepdad stays healthy. He and mum have been through hell in the past few months and they deserve a break now!! I especially pray for my stepbrother Bryan, that he may stay safe where he is posted, and returns safe and well.

I hope my own surgery goes well, that there are none of the complications I am not reading about on google ( cos I would NEVER be silly enough to google that now would I!!!) I hope that the coutcome is the significant improvement in my day to day life that has been predicted.

I hope 2009 is the year where we finally see English Heretics do what they have been promising for almost twelve years and FREE STONEHENGE!!!

Finally, I hope the person who stirred up so much crap for me in 2008, and who pushed me to the point of no return, finds something to occupy and fill their life. Something rewarding, that will give them a sense of achievement without destroying other peoples lives. I am not the only one to of been attacked in the past twelve months by the person. For their own sake and the sake of those around them, I truly do hope and pray that they find a fresh outlet for their energies and become a positive and beneficial force, instead of a negative and damaging one.

So, in essence, lets have good health, peace, freedom and happiness in 2009! Would be good wouldn't it!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! PEACE, LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL....even the mooses!!

Appointment cancelled

2008-12-20T12:09:00.001Z

Just don't ask!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Kids cardiac Appointment

2008-12-19T13:28:00.002Z

Not a lot I can say here, we are leaving shortly to head off to the hospital. Both the kids need to have cardiac checks, primarily to see if they nhave inherited the ARVC from me. Skye will get her routine check at the same time. As many of my readers will know, I am without a doubt terrified if what the outcome will be. Skye is not right at the moment and has some very worrying symptoms... all of which can be explained away with innocent explanations, but adding them all together and ....

Wish us luck, going to need it today :( xx

Coach Trip

2008-11-11T12:51:00.002Z

last Sunday I took a step into the unknown ...... and went on a coach trip!!

I saw the day trip advertised localy and as it was going to Southampton I decided to take the oppourtunity to visit my two eldest sons, who now live there.

I will admit, I was somewhat dubious about taking the trip, coach trips conjure up images of the little old grannies to me. But I have to say I was very pleasantly surprised! I travelled with a local company Barnes Travel . The coach collected me from a stop a mere 10 minute walk from home, had a wide range of pick up points to choose from and arrived in plenty of time. The coach was lovely and clean, the driver cheerful and courteous, a miracle in itself in this day and age!! The journey down was smooth and trouble free, and I found it very relaxing and enjoyable.

After a day spent shopping, visiting old haunts and visiting Mikes new college, we headed for home again. the coach turned up early, giving everyone ample time to get on, get settled and comfortable before we set off.

All in all, it was a superb day out and the coach travel, far from being a nightmare as I had feared, was a wonderful start and end to the day. I will absolutely do it again, and am even looking for other trips they are running... you never know I could come to visit you next ;)

We will remember them ....

2008-11-11T11:00:00.001Z

Today, it is 90 years since the end of World War One. Today I will go to the war memorial in swindon, to lay a cross in memory of my Great Uncle. He was working on a rubber plantation in Singapore when WW2 broke out. He, along with many colleagues, joined the Johore Volunteers, and went to fight against the Japanese. Sadly he was captured, sent to work on building the Burma Railway, and later died as a result of the deprivation and disease in the camps there. He had no wife, no children, and was remembered only by his family. I never knew him, never met him and have just a handful of photos and documents to mark his life. But the sacrifice he made, was huge. He did not have to go to fight, being employed in Singapore, he would of avoided conscription, but he made the decision that he had to stand up for what was right.

Today great Uncle George, I remember you.

I thank you and all those who died with you, for the freedom we enjoy today.

Rest in Peace, wherever you are.

Things I have learnt about my children

2008-10-17T17:24:00.001+01:00

1. When they are quiet and out of sight it is NEVER a good thing

2. Dozing off, however tired I may be, when my children are quiet is NEVER a good thing

3. When I call my kids to watch their favourite TV programme and they don't hear IT MEANS TROUBLE

4. When I go to fetch my children, they emerge from the bathroom looking innocent, IT MEANS TROUBLE

5. When I ask my beloved daughter what they have been doing and she smiles sweetly, and says ' Nuttink mummy' IT MEANS TROUBLE

6. Two large tubs of baby powder goes a very long way when sprinkled liberally around the bathroom, over the washing basket, down the toilet ....

7. When a bottle of baby shampoo is added to the mix it makes the most incredible, highly slippery sludge

8. When you add water, to baby powder, it becomes like glue ....

9. When I am wearing a holter monitor, the above scenario gives a perfect opportunity to demonstrate the intensity of palpitaions under stress.

10. If you hear alot of screaming about 6pm... I am not murdering or torturing my children, they are being sent to bed early, with no sweets and no dvd!!!

PS First one to laugh gets them by parcel post!!!

Observations from a bus seat

2008-10-07T17:04:00.004+01:00

Being a non driver and not being able to potter too far, I spend a fair bit of time travelling by bus. I enjoy, whilst on my jouney, to watch and listen to those around me. Sometimes I have an almost irresistible urge to crack up laughing at some of them. others give me things to ponder. Often incidents or objects we pass by make me think, ponder, laugh or want to cry. I often think ' I must blog about that' yet by the time I have finished by chores in town, wrestled the kids back onto the bus, made fresh observations, and got home, well by then I have usually forgotten the deep and meaningful post I was going to make. So today I bought a new notebook, and each time I travel I will scribble down my thoughts, and later, wehn peace reigns, will transcribe those random scribbles into legible english and post here. Could be funny, could be sad, could be ranty, and could be deep thinking, or even middle thinking lol. Anyway watch and read, you never know what will occur!! With thanks to ,swindoncentric whose 'heard it on the bus' section I have contributed to, and have inspired me to start this slot on my blog!

First thing in book? Reminder to self to take camera on next bus trip and photograph a bus seat to illustrate this 'ere slot rofl

I need ....

2008-10-05T21:32:00.002+01:00

a kick up the butt. I should be catching up on months worth of knitting projects I have promised to various people, but keep putting it off!! So dearest friends, if you spy me loitering on Facebook, forums or msn , and I do not have a pair of pins in my hands SHOUT AT ME!!!!

I have a noahs ark and animals to complete for the nursery, a xmas tree and decs for Skyes class, a rather nifty outfit for a friends baby, a jacket for a friend, to say nothing of the sweater dress, with matching jacket and hat I have promised myself I will do for Skye!!

Oh yes and the xmas presents for mum, a hooked rug..... oh gawd I must stop waffling and get on with some of it

Palpitations

2008-09-30T10:46:00.003+01:00

DISCLAIMER
Warning to all beofre I begin. This post contains a graphic description of the palpitations I suffer. It may cause upset to certain people. You have been warned, so if you think it might upset you, please do not read any further :)

I want to describe to my readers, what it feels like to have palpitations, what it does and why I feel like I do afterwards.In this way maybe some will understnd a little better and perhaps they will be a little less harsh towards me another time!!

Palpitations are a racing or irregular heart beat. I have had them in past years where they were caused by an overdose of caffeine. These ones are worse. My heart rate races, often for no reason at all, last night for example, I was sat watching the TV when it happened. Imagine if you were running. Your heart rate would increase, and you would find it harder to get your breath. If you keep running, you may find that your heart continues to race, eventually you will reach your limit, and slow down or stop running. Your heart rate will quickly slow down and return to normal. You could well feel tired with all that exercise.

Imagine now, that even though your heartrate is so fast it causes you physical pain, and you are struggling to breath, you cannot stop running. The pain increases and your breath becomes ever harder to catch. The pain is overwhelming, bringing you to tears. Thats what it is like when the palpitations do not settle quickly. I have no control over them. Whatever I do, I cannot slow the heartrate down. It is frightening, painful and leaves me, as you would feel after overdoing the exercise, totally exhausted.

Hope now one or two people will have a better understanding of the condition and results

Musical Monday

2008-09-29T14:15:00.001+01:00

Not going to explain this one, sure anyone reading through the posts of the last month will totally understand the reasons

Kids and roads ... bring back the green cross code man

2008-09-27T21:31:00.002+01:00

A few weeks ago I blogged about a little local lad who had died in a horrible road accident. He and his mate had run out from behind a bus, into the path of an oncoming double decker bus. One died, the other was left with awful head injuries. thankfully the injured boy has reportedly made a full recovery.

Tonight I stepped out the front door, to chuck some rubbish in the bin. Our road is a main road, fairly quiet by many standards, but it IS a main road, one which buses, cars, lorries and the like frequent. Our section of the road is straight and on a hill. It encourages the idiot drivers to speed. It was 8pm, it was dark, and I was more than a little gobsmacked to see bombing down the centre of the road, a boy aged about 8, riding a toy scooter. wearing dark clothing, no lights (well its a scooter hey!). But please, what the hell was he doing? If a vehicle had come round the corner at that moment the consequences are unthinkable.

A few weeks ago I looked out the kitchen window, in the turning opposite there were three young boys, aged between 6 and 10, playing on their bikes. The 6 yr old suddenly dashed into the road, just as a van turned the corner. The driver was , thankfully, very alert and braked in time.

What the heck is going on? Is it me or are kids today even less road savvy then we were as kids? What ever happened to the Green Cross Code man? Bet most of you (Britishers anyway) will remember him from your youth. There was green cross code man )(played by the guy who was Darth vader in star wars

Then later on celebs such as Kevin Keegan, were used.

Just my opinion, but I think its high time to bring back the Green Cross Code. Use celebs of today, David Beckham for example. Even cartoon characters.. its not rocket science is it!! Replace all the kids tv ads for junk food with Green Cross Code ads. Maybe, just maybe it would work.

My week

2008-09-27T21:21:00.002+01:00

My week....

Has been one of discovery. Finding out some people are not who I thought they were. That some are not to be trusted at all. Some need to do a hell of a lot of growing up!!

Has been one of hospitals hospitals and more hospitals, my stepdad had surgery to remove a malignant melanoma. Tonight I hear my stepsisters daughter is in hospital with suspected appendicitis. Two precious heart kids have spent the week in, one came home today, but little Lukey is still fighting. Be strong little man.

Has been one of feeling crap ... well thats about normal for me!!

But late night goss's on msn with my new mate, has sure cheered me up, thank you hon you know who you are ;) xx

Next week, well lets see what that brings eh!!

Bad Blogger

2008-09-25T10:23:00.002+01:00

Juzst realised how long it is since I blogged, naughty me!!

Well, life in the madhouse, plods on. Skye is loving school and can't wait to get there. Garin, is still his usual self, plotting mischief, escaping at every oppurtunity, generally being a little boy!

Spent weekend at Avebury for the Autumn equinox. Ironic isn't it, we spend Spring equnox welcoming in the spring with blizzards of snow, freezing temps and so on, yet welcome in the Autumn with glorious sunshine. Go figure. It was a good weekend, though few under currents rumbling on. Was lovely to meet with so many friends, get to meet those who I have been talking to on FB and other sites!!

Off shopping shortly to a place called Buyology. Supposed to be really good, will let you know upon my return xxx

ARVC

2008-09-19T12:40:00.004+01:00

Most of my readers here will know, that I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy a year or so ago. I had the test results yesterday and its confirmed as being Arrythmogenic Right Ventricular Cardiomyopathy.

Yesterday, I was a bit of a mess, but today has dawned, and have given myself a firm kick up the butt, and now its time to get on with life.

I have been referred to another specialist in Bristol, as the local unit don't have the know how about the condition. So least I am getting the best! I have been banned from taking exercise, running up stairs, heavy lifting ... so does this mean I am going to spend the rest of my life sat on my behind. No it ruddy doesn't!! I am taking what the doc said with a pinch of common sense. I am not going to go all out on trying to get fit, but see no reason I can't stroll slowly to do the school run. No heavy lifting means I can't do a fair bit of the housework, but I have good friends, who I am sure will be happy to give me a hand with the heavier side of the work. I can still load the washing machine, though maybe heaving the baskets about is not going to be a good idea. I can load and unload the dishwasher, I can bath the kids, They have a step and as long as I am with them to steady them, they can both get in the bath without me lifting them. I am unsure about the ironing, but could probably do that sat down. Lots I can't do now, but theres still loads I can do. So I have to change my lifestyle a bit, so what? I am still here, it could have been so much worse as diagnosis goes. I am ok...... just about!!

Thank you everyone, who has sent me messages, emails, texts, rung me etc. I really appreciate all of it. Your support means so much :)

Dum Dum Dum Dumdum

2008-09-13T01:05:00.002+01:00

So Mrs Troll strikes again, this time, as I predicted here, just a few days ago, causing much upset and heartache all round!! Wonder if de management will do anything NOW, or will it all be treated as ' a little mistake' More and more vunlerable people are getting hurt.

Glad I don't go there now!! Though getting updates from friends ..... still major point here, this time I am not making myself ill over it. Cos quite frankly, whilst I feel immensely sorry for the victims, who have been left open to this kind of abuse by poor management, I am personally not in the least involved and whilst I am blogging on and on about it, I am not about to make my condition worse by fretting about it. Selfish it may be, but right now certain others need me more ... including my kids, my parents and my friends!!

Musical Monday For Luke xxx

2008-09-07T16:56:00.004+01:00

Yes once again its a day early, but this is for a special little boy. Lukey is going to hospital for his operation. His poor mum has been to hell and back already waiting for this and I know she is worried sick. Lukey this one is for you, because if I could save you from going through this surgery, make you well and take the worries off Mummies shoulders I would walk 5000 miles not just 500. I will be with you, Mummy and Daddy in spirit every step of the way, keeping everything crossed, and sending you all the good luck vibes I can muster. Behave yourself, no mischief please. love you little man xxxx

Some times people just won't listen!

2008-09-07T13:47:00.002+01:00

Sometimes, it really doesn't matter how hard you try to warn them, some people will not see the danger until its ripped dirty great chunks out of them.

I warned someone months ago, that there was a significant danger from a third party. That third party was lying outta their big fat botty wotty. I was promised an investigation, and a follow up email was also promised. Well never got that so can only assume that the investigation never happened.

Got a message from a friend today, telling me of their shock at the latest BS to issue from this third party. Talking on a subject that some people are very very knowledgeable, third party is making huge huge great bloopers.

Yet none of those who could do something about this piece of work, will do anything!

I predict, a lot more damage and destruction is going to be done. I predict that a whole bunch of people are going to get hurt .... again. Me? I am just glad to be out of it. If those in authority cannot and will not protect the vunlerable, who look to them for care, support and protection, then who the heck would want to be under thair 'authority and care' !!

A place that should be a refuge is yet again going to turn into a bloodbath. Its heart breaking that they choose to take that line. I am sorry for all those who will get hurt, yet so so glad to be out the whole mess!

The truth - My side.

2008-09-01T18:59:00.003+01:00

Get a cuppa and make yourself comfy. This is going to be a very very long post.

When Skye was diagnosed with CHD, we joined a forum, where we hoped to get support. And we did. Lots of it. In return I gave alot of support, much behind the scenes, from keeping in contact with people whilst they were in hospital, to being a shoulder to cry on. From visiting in hospital to advising on claiming of benefits. Not all of the help I gave was about matters relating to illness, some was personal. Some advice was taken, some wasn't. All went well until .... well until something happened. I do not know, truly and honestly do not know what happened. All of a sudden though I found myself the subject of hatred. When I asked for support, it was refused. When meeting people they acted very oddly towards me, but I could not understand why things had changed so drastically.

Until recently that is. I still do not know why, but some one decided that she was going to use me, as a tool to gain sympathy I think. Accusations have been thrown, lots of mud has been slung. I have suspicions what is behind it, my growing friendship with a couple of mutual friends. But over the course of about two years the situation got worse and worse.

This is my defence. I have chosen not to post on the forum, tempting though it is. That would cause ill feeling and upset among innocent people who have nothing to do with this. I need to defend myself though and need very much to state the facts here.

I have never threatened to 'beat up' any member of the forum

I have never told anyone on the forum that I dislike them

I have never bullied any member of the forum

I have never cursed anyone on the forum

I have never threatened to 'use my witch powers' to harm anyone on the forum (or anywhere else for that matter!!)

For the record, once, some time ago, I posted something truly horribe about someone. I have apologised endlessly for that. What I posted was wrong. It was totally incorrect and I freely admit that. I have apologised to the person concerned, and she, being a very lovely lady forgave me for it. I would never again post any such crap. I learnt a harsh lesson. I have paid, over and over for what I did. Its over now. The person who I did that too, is NOT the person who has stirred up such a wicked hate campaign against me. The person I did that too is too decent a person for that.

The person who has done this, well she is someone totaly different, who has used my one bad action, to convince fellow members that I have done all the above to her.

I have not. If members of that forum, choose to believe any of it, after all I have done for them, well thats their lookout. If they want to believe all this crap, despite all the help, the cuppas, the visits I have given to them. If those who have used my shoulder to cry on, who have accepted advice and help in filling in the dreaded DLA forms, want to believe that I am capable of such total evil as that listed above, then they are not the people I thought they were.

If they want to make me their figure if hatred then so be it. I cannot stop them.

Just bear in mind though, who has really suffered because of this. Me and family? Yes I have lost support at a time when I really need it. One child with CHD, two more suspected of having it. Having a serious heart condition myself. Yes think its safe to say I and my family have suffered because of this person. Members of the forum? Yes, certain of them have because I am not there to support them now. Even worse, this persons hatred for me was so great, they did not even look after those they was supposed to.

Final point here, regarding my religion. I am not a 'witch' I am a druid. Big difference believe me. If you want to know what the difference is then ask me, I am happy to explain. Yes Dan teases me and calls me a witch, but that is just teasing, a joke between friends. And a joke is very different to whats been said by the other person.

I would not do any of the stuff listed above. Simple. It has not happened, nor will it ever happen.

However, person who is so downright evil, who is so sick, twisted and obsessed enough to have caused all of this, please take note. If you continue to cause me and mine harm, of ANY kind, I will take action. I have today spoken to both my solicitor and to the police. Spreading religous hatred (which accusations about my religion are!) is illegal.Defamation of character is a civil matter and as such can be dealt with through private prosecution. Any further incidents and you will find yourself answering to the police, in court and with a criminal record. I will also sue you privately for damages. I do not want to take that action, because by its very nature it would mean the forum being dragged through the mud, as the person concerned used their private messagig system, and contacts given to them by the forum. That I do not want. But its up to you, the individual who has spread so much hatred. Do you want to be responsible for the good name of that forum to be dragged into court with you, after all they have done for you? It rests with you. I am not going to lie down and take this shite any longer. I am fighting back.

If you have an ounce of courage, which I have to say I seriously doubt, you will issue an apology. preferably a public one. On your blog or on the forum. But you won't, will you? I am not perfect, I make mistakes and when I do, I apologise, I make amends. Because whatever my faults, I have courage to admit those mistakes!!

To the other members of said forum, if you want to believe the crap about me, thats your lookout. I just hope that the person concerned does not line you up as their next victim. I am not the first victim, I hope I am the last.

I will not return to the forum. I will no longer be available to support any one via there. Friends I have made, those who I am still in contact with, well it goes without saying, will of course still have my support, but it is as a friend, not as anything to do with the forum. Friends, please do keep in touch via here, facebook, other forums etc etc . People who now realise that they have treated me like shite because of the lies and want to make amends, well I am not vindictive. I do not blame you, and hope that we can reinstate our friendships. Its your call.

In love and light, no more hatred, no more religous discrimination. Onward and upward to bigger and better. May the damage thats been done, heal. Most importantly of all, may the forum concerned go back to being the fantastic source of support it used to be. may no more damage be done to it.

I am disabling comments here, simply because I suspect that it will turn into a slanging match, if you want to comment, either to offer support or to slag me off a bit more, well my email address is easily available!!

I hate my body

2008-08-31T20:59:00.002+01:00

Simple really. I hate my body. Not because I am fat, though I don't like being fat and am dieting and trying to slim down a bit. But what I reallyt hate is being ill. I am sick of being sick. I am fed up of getting up in the morning in pain, going through the day in pain, going to bed in pain and tossing and turning all night in pain. I am fed up of having no energy, of getting knackered out doing the smallest task. I am fed up of not having the energy to take the kids anywhere without Gary. I feel like a crap, useless mum. How can i do my best by my kids, give my kids all they deserve when I am barely able to look after myself. I look after them, they get fed, watered, washed, etc etc, but hell, I can't wake up on a sunny morning and say ' Lets go to the vbeach'. I would never make it there. How can I be the best for my kids in this state? Sometimes I reckon they would be better off without me, let Gary find them a mum who can give them all the energy. I wish I was a better mum, I wish , I wish I wish.

Musical Monday

2008-08-25T05:34:00.000+01:00

Harking back to my days on the doors, this one is just special, for the crew in a certain venue, they know who they are and they know whats this is all about!! miss you more and more guys....

Musical Monday no.2

2008-08-24T22:44:00.002+01:00

This one has embedding disabled all over you tube, so please just follow this link. Memories are made of this ......

And yes before you point it out this is still Sunday, stop whinging just cos I is organisedish!!

Animal Rescue

2008-08-24T11:58:00.002+01:00

I have, in recent weeks, become involved in the world of animal rescue. It is without, the most rewarding, frustrating, heartbreaking and inspirational voluntary work around!

Frustration comes, when you spend a week, searching for a rescue placement for a large, uncastrated male dog, often to the wee small hours, only to find when you tell the 'owner' that she has handed the poor creature to someone on the estate where she lives, and all you get for your trouble is to be sworn at and verbally abused. Frustration knowing that an uncastrated makle pedigree dog, complete with registration papers, being handed round for free is highly likely to end up in a puppy farm, stuffed in a kennel, fed just enough to keep him alive, only taken out to perform his 'duties'. No life for any animal.

Rewarding comes when you find an owner who genuinely cares, but due to circunmstances can no longer keep the pets they so dearly love. Taking their animals, and keeping in touch afterwards so they know whats happened and when they have been rehomed, taking their fit healthy animals, knowing it will be a breeze to rehome them is rewarding and reassuring!!

Anger and sadness, comes when you go to collect animals handed to a rescue, that when you get them home and inspect them, you discover they are dangerously thin, injured and sick. To know that there is a long fight ahead to get them well, to put weight on them, to heal their damaged mental health. Picking up a tiny, skinny baby rabbit, seeing it trying to walk forward only for it to stagger sideways, breaks your heart. Knowing that for the sake of a bit of food, water and care, the chances are that the poor little sod would have been fine. That makes me cry.

The dedication, hard work and sheer gritty determination of a small band of people, who work all the hours in the day and then some, to save the lives of these animals, to educate the public so there will be less neglect, ignorance and cruelty is astounding.

You my beloved readers, if you ever want to help, email me. There is so much that everyone can do. Some very small things, some bigger. Can you foster an animal for a short while? A dog, a cat, a rabbit or even a gerbil? Have you a car and a few hours to spare? Can you help with transporting an animal to a rescue centre or foster home? It need not be far!! Or how about volunteering at your local rescue? Walking a few of the dogs, sitting and cuddling or playing with the cats. It need not be hard. It need not cost a lot of money, it need not cost a lot of time, but it all helps!!

Before opening mouth .....

2008-08-12T17:01:00.002+01:00

Sometimes I despair of the human race!! The things some people say or write makes me so gobsmacked its a miracle my jaw doesn't break .. (again !!)

However there are three levels I have noticed. Those who are

A) having a dappy/blonde/senior moment and are genuinely nice people who get upset when they realise what they have done (and yes folks I freely admit to being in that club!)

B) actually just totally thoughtless, and even when its pointed out to them, they apologise but are left puzzled as to why upsets been caused.

C) Those who for some sick, twisted reason, decide to spout out nastiness for the fun of it.

Cat A, as I have already said, is me, sometimes I do put my foot in it, but I always try not to, and when I do foul up I always apologise. I can cope with these kind of people.

Cat B... well had one of those around recently, will not go into details as do not want to identify them. But oh boy did I get cross over stuff they did/said/sent... sometimes I despair lol!! These I can handle, even if I feel like smacking my head on a brick wall.

Cat C .. well this is the one I want to talk about really tonight. Last Thursday evening, two little boys were heading for the play park, accompanied by their older siblings. Two little boys, just 6 and 7 years old, out playing, enjoying the warm weather, two little boys enjoying the freedom from school night bedtimes, enjoying the summer holidays. They ran across a road, behind a parked bus, and into the path of a double decker bus. The 6 yr old was trapped under the bus, he is believed to have died instantly , the 7 yr old is in hospital, 5 days on he is still listed as being critical but stable. So many lives torn apart, the two sets of parents, the siblings who saw it happen, helpless to stop it, the other kids playing in the park, the neighbours who ran to the rescue, the bus passengers, the poor poor bus driver. THIS is what I call devastation.

Yet through that devastation, comes the evil little creatures, slimy little pieces of dirt. They crawl out, protected by their computer screens from the human gaze, protected from the backlash, and post on a public forum. Post evil wicked dross. Suggesting that the parents were to blame, they shouldn't of been out at that time of night, that the little boys life didn't matter because he lived on a council estate, suggestions that his parents could replace him, to top their benefits back up, thats the milder stuff, some was just so evil, that I cannot bear to repeat it. It made me feel physiacally sick. Some kind hearted person started a 'Gone to Soon' site for the little lad. Even there, even on a memorial site some twisted individual feels it right to post derogatory comments against the lads parents.

Why? I guess they are cowards. If they actually faced the parents, would they have the guts to spill their hatefilled words? Would they hell. No if they had to actually stand and look into the face of that boys parents, look into the eyes of the mother whose baby has been torn from her. What would they see? Pain, desolation, anger, disbelief... I don't know.

They are cowards, these cyber bullies, they always hide behind nicknames, fake ids, probably even fake locations. They make me vomit. What to do about them? Well, sod all, unless forums such as local newspapers, actually take responsibility for their actions. Actually pay someone to sit and moderate every single comment before it reaches the boards. Alternatively, don't allow comments!!

They are sick, eveil, twisted cowards. the lowest of the low. One day karma won't just bite them on the bum, karma will rip them a whole new a**eH**e

Whatever. End of the day, all I can say is Fly High little man. Your death has devastated so many. RIP mate. May your family know peace. May your friend make a full recovery. May all involved find a way to cope.....

Life is like ...

2008-08-02T17:41:00.002+01:00

'Life is like a box of chocolates' quoth Forrest Gump. He had a point. In the space of less than 24 hours, within my own circle there has been an appalling act commited which almost ended the life of a young mother, acts of incredible bravery by the most unexpected people, the loss of a beautiful little heart child, to being paid the highest honour within the druid community (well it is to me anyhow!)

Life, death, highs and lows, a life is saved, heroes are made, a life is lost, hearts and lives are broken, a gesture by one, changes the life of another. Love and hatred.

Today I have feared and cheered, laughed and cried, hated and loved. Highest of highs and lowest of lows. That is life...... apparently.

If I could have had one wish today, just one, I would have wished that a little girl had not gained her wings. Oh if only that one wish could be granted. I would have given up all the rest, all the highs for that one wish.

Children and seatbelts again

2008-07-31T00:51:00.002+01:00

How often do parents need to be told, to be reminded that carrying a child in a car without a seatbelt is dangerous? When the baby is born, parents get wads of leaflets, in the 'red book' all babies are given, there are frequent reminders about car safety.

There are TV adverts, radio adverts, adverts in the newspapers, magazines, parenting websites. In short there is no excuse whatsoever for any parent to knowingly, cheerfully transport their child in a car, unrestrained..... is there ?

Seems though, that some will only get the message when the worst has already happened. Tonights local paper reports a case where a car crashed on the M4 after a tyre blew out. An 18 month old toddler, being carried on mums lap, was thrown from the car. The car was travelling at 80mph... the toddler died.

Now part of me wants to sympathise with the parents, they made an awful mistake and paid the ultimate price and have suffered enough. But then the other part of me is screaming FFS how could you be so damned stupid. I am trying not to judger them. End of the day they will have to live with their decision for the rest of their lives.

Either way, please guys don't do it. Don't take that child out of their carseat, if they are crying then put up with it until you can pull over/off the road. If your child is being sick, then use the hard shoulder and get them out of the car. If the police stop and give you earache.. well sodding hell thats got to be better than losing your child.

What is a disaster? What is a tragedy?

2008-07-28T18:14:00.003+01:00

Disaster. Devastation. Tragic. just three of the many similar terms I have heard bandied about today in relation to the fire that has destroyed the Grand Pier at Weston Super Mare. I appreciate we are probably getting more reports about the fire than most, being as it is here in the west country!!

I am sad about it, but devastated? I think its a crying shame for the owners and local businesses who will suffer financially, but a devastating tragedy? Sorry if this offends but actually no I don't think it is. For starters, the Pier itself wouldhave been insured. So whilst there is much work ahead, it is not the end of the world. All the damage done, can be claimed back from the insurers. Nobody died. Nobody was even injured. All the damage is financial, historical at worst.

Local news reports have the fire on the pier as lead story.

Second story is of a 10 yr old boy swept away by the tide on the River Severn, he fell into the river last night. His body was found this morning. His mother had to go and identify his body. Maybe I am alone in this, but I would say that the death of a child, a normal, happy, healthy 10 yr old boy is a tragedy. devastation? Yes I think that word could be applied to his death.

Yes I am sad about the Pier, I have many great memories of the place, and I do feel pity for the businesses affected. But my tears and sympathy tonight are for a little boy, killed in the prime of life.

Is it just me or is the world a bit warped when a building burning down, is more important to the media than the ending of a childs life?

2008-07-28T18:12:00.000+01:00

Musical Monday

2008-07-28T12:17:00.001+01:00

After this weekend ... Dedicated to all my mates, who rang, emailed, messaged and texted, sorry if I did not reply but thank you from the bottom of my heart for caring

What a weekend

2008-07-28T11:59:00.003+01:00

Not going to go into many details here, mainly due to the fact that some of it is just too personal, but lets just say this weekend has been the weekend from hell, which nearly ended very badly all round. We have survived though and hopefully stronger and better for it, we will move on.

Families - Why do some members of the extended family, think they have some kind of god given right to judge? They have NO idea whatsoever what our lives are like, yet feel that they can judge us. They think they can say wtf they please and we won't care. Well we do!!
They think the world revolves around them, it doesn't. They think they are the be all and end all. They can lie about something of supreme importance, play around with peoples lives.

I think that someone who lies to her boyfriend that her baby is his, then carries on lying even when it is screamingly obvious that the child is not his. Then after making him pay to support her and the baby for months on end, dumps him and goes off with the true father of the baby. Who incidentally now thinks that he is a big man and can bully everyone into doing what he wants.

'Family' like that we can do without thanks.

We have survived this weekend, we have survived everything you have thrown at us and guess what... we are ok. Going to take time to heal some of the damage you did. But get there we will. Without you!!

Those of you who read this via the forums, I will be back in a day or two, need to spend a bit of time sorting out some legal stuff and repairing the damage wreaked.

And believe me, dear readers, what I have written here is just the tip of an iceberg the size of twenty double decker buses!! The events of this weekend would make even Jeremys hair curl!!!

Hospital Appointments

2008-07-25T15:27:00.002+01:00

I am sure that you have all read of how horrendous hospital waiting lists are and how hospitals always defend themselves by blaming it on patients for missing appointments. If that is true, then surely it would make sense for the hospitals to make cancelling or rearranging appointments easier?

An example, today I received an appointment for my daughter. She had been referred by the SALT to the ENT and audiology dept.

The date given was during a time when we hope to be away on holiday, so I rang to cancel.

On the bottom of the letter it says :

' If you need to discuss rebooking your appointment please telephone:-

NHS Direct on 08456 *** *** if your appointment was arranged with your GP or online OR Swindon and Marlborough Trust on 01793 ** ** ** if you arranged the appointment directly with Swindon and Marlborough NHS trust by telephone or postal letter. '

Well actually none of the above applies, but nearest to it is GP so I rang the first number.

Easy!

Well no actually NO!!

You see I cannot change the appointment without a password and number, I have neither, so apparently I need to make an appointment with the GP, get a booking number and password off him, then ring them back and they should be able to change the appointment for me. Its a non emergency, and I would not pretend otherwise so it will take two to three weeks to get an appointment, which would take it very close to the appointment date anyway!! AGGGGHHHHHH I pointed out that this system didn't really help at all, and it was small wonder there were (according to said letter) 20,000 missed appointments last year in the Great Western Hospital. I was told very huffily, 'It makes life MUCH easier THANK you '

NO IT DOES NOT!!!!

Bear in mind, that under the old booking system, you would receive a letter requesting you to ring the booking centre and arrange a convenient appointment. Whicjh I did, ONCE! Arranged the appointment day and time conveient to me to guarantee I would make it. Only then they cancelled it and rearranged it for a very inconvenient time, then cancelled it again and made it a week earlier, then next day cancelled AGAIN and rearranged it for a fortnight earlier than the first appointment

Stupid stupid stupid. It doesn't work, so please sort it out and stop blaming the patients for not turning up !!

Incidentally if you happen to receive the same letter, and you don't have the password etc, ring the OTHER number, the people there are much more amenable, very sensible and extremely helpful!! They changed the appointment to a convenient date within two minutes. Simple really isn't it!!

Musical Monday

2008-07-21T05:00:00.001+01:00

One from the multi talented Damh the bard.... though this one he did kinda get stitched up for

Calne Bike Meet 2008

2008-07-19T18:38:00.002+01:00

For the last 8 years The Rotary Club has hosted an annual Bike Meet in the small Wiltshire market town of Calne

It is always an amazing day, with several thousand bikes invading the town. On an ordinary weekend afternoon Calne is a sleepy little place, but on Bike Meet day, well its MAD!! We have just spent a fantastic day out there, the kids loved it, walking round looking at some of the most incredible bikes you have ever seen. Live music blares out across the town square, whilst local charities host tombola stalls nestling next to london based leather companies, selling everything you could possibly want in a bikers world!!. Everyone is there for fun, to admire each others bikes, to chat, to socialise, meet old friends and new ones!

I particuarly like the airsprayed bikes, some have very intricate and imaginative designs.

A few pics below, but more on my Facebook if you want a nosey :)

Heartbreaking and so unfair

2008-07-14T23:22:00.002+01:00

I am in an odd situation tonight, in that I really don't know what to say. Little Zoe Chambers, who hit the headlines here in the UK last summer when in need of a heart transplant, was lucky enough to get that call, and in June 2007 she got her heart. A year on papers rejoiced with her as she celebrated. Now just over two weeks later comes the news that she has died.

What can anyone say? She had more than a year of life that she nearly didn't get at all. yet at just two years of age she has gone.

I am so glad she had that year, that her parents now have amazing memories of their beautiful little girl being a normal little girl. But I really cannot help breaking my heart tonight in sorrow at her loss.

Thinking of the Chambers family, wishing so much that things were different :(

Arthur again !!!

2008-07-13T18:19:00.004+01:00

Had a quick trip up to Stonehenge today to see Arthur and drop off some much needed supplies, water, bog roll, tins of food etc. He is in very good spirits and was good to see him. Skye fell in love and has been demnanding to go back ever sionce we got home rofl. Pics below ;)

Pic one : View from Arthurs caravan abode

Pic two - Skye and her new friend Arfry as she calls him

Pic three : Skye and Garin at camelot Caravan

Pic four: Garin running free and unhindered for once on The Drove

Getting into the Political Arena

2008-07-12T15:19:00.004+01:00

Following on from my post about Arthur, I have decided to start doing my bit. So last night, I managed to get myself invited to a 'Cameron Direct' meeting, where members of the voting public get to meet with and ask questions of David Cameron , leader of the Conservative party.

I texted Arthur and asked him if he wanted me to ask anything for him, and he duly texted me back with a question.

' Do you Mr Cameron, agree with Robert Key, MP for Salisbury, that further public consultation on Stonehenge is a 'step in the right direction' and would any future tory gov't be prepared to act on the findings of the public enquiry and build the tunnel'

So off I toddled, I was shaking with nerves, felt so sick and was all in all a bit of a nervous wreck. I am not a shy person really, but standing up in a room full of starngers and asking something that would be out of the norm of a man as well known and with prospectively so mucgh power, well I shook!! But I did it!! i kept putting up my hand, kept shaking, but kept plugging on, eventually I got the finger pointed at me, a microphione was placed in my hand and it was go!. I asked him the question, slightly reworded due to my nerves, but got the message across. David Cameron, was quite simply stumped!! He really did not know what to say but was honest enough to admit it, and has said that he will look into it and email me. I have emailed him this morning, to remind him, and will await his answer with anticiaption. Will update as soon as I do.

I have to say though, that nerves notwithstanding, I did enjoy it, and think I might have found my niche

if you fancy watching my moment of fame, click on this link, and look at the bottom of the page for Swindon!! 26mins 30 secs in if you want to fast forward ;)

Arthur .....

2008-07-06T19:53:00.006+01:00

Hmm well what is Arthur up to!! Why is Em begging people who might just be passing Stonehenge to take on a mission ...

All is about to be revealed... not thats its been a secret, if any of you had googled you would have found out lol

Well ... perhaps I will let his press release do the majority of explaining

PRESS RELEASE AND STATEMENT OF INTENT

Winter Solstice 2007

Stonehenge was presented to the Nation after the Great War in 1918. Sixty years later in 1978 a fence was erected around it. Thirty years on what’s changed?

NOTHING, LESS THAN NOTHING

After spending many years and an obscene amount of public money on consultations, enquiries and the commissioning of countless reports and architectural drawings, the Stonehenge Vision as expressed by English Heritage, to return the Temple to a natural environment and remove the fence that holds it in a stranglehold like a snared animal, is dead in the water. Why?

Because since 1918 H M Government, Her Loyal Opposition and agents, English Heritage, Wiltshire Constabulary, The Highways Agency, The Department of Transport, Salisbury District Council, The Ministry of Culture, Media and Sport, Wiltshire County Council and their predecessors, have been all equally complicit in the mis-management and failure to comply with their duty of care for this living, working Temple that was left to us, the people of this once green and pleasant land.

Countless enquiries amount to nothing because no one is prepared to invest in what is after all A World Heritage Site and, incidentally, the biggest cash cow in English Heritage’s arsenal.

The Authorities have shown their gross incompetence in their mis-management of Stonehenge and therefore, on behalf of the Nation and the people therein, I lay claim to this Temple and will mount a legal, moral and political challenge to their custodianship.

In the meantime, I have spent the best part of twenty years in negotiations with said agencies, only to have it brushed aside with the stroke of a pen. It is now my intention to celebrate Solstices and Equinoxes in the environs of Stonehenge but I will not enter the Temple until their promise is realized and the fence removed.

My mistake was, I dared to dream, dared to believe and to work for their vision. I too have a vision, to re-erect the fallen Stones, replace the lintels and rebuild our Temple. I call upon leaders of other religions, belief-structures and philosophies to support me in this. I call also upon the people of Salisbury to support me through the ballot box and to send a peoples’ champion to Westminster to represent them in Parliament – by, for and of the people.

Arthur Pendragon Independent Proposed Parliamentary Candidate for Salisbury

Need a translation? In short English heritage have failed to honour their promise to grant free and open access to Stonehenge for ALL people. Arthur has got totally fed up of them putting things off and sidestepping the issue. So he has taken Camelot caravan and is now living near to Stonehenge. Each day Arthur makes his way to the gates and sets up a peaceful picket. He displays a banner asking that EH honour its word. He has pledged to remain there until things have changed and all people have Free and Open access to the stones.

Lots of links now for you

Arthur on Facebook

Arthur on Twitter

Arthur on Flickr

Arthurs own website The Loyal Athurian Warband

And a little video so Arthur can tell you in his nown words what he is doing ...

Now if you feel like you want to support Arthur in his aim, what can you do? well join his Facebook page for starters!! If you happen to be passing Stonehenge, why not drop in with a few supplies! Tea, coffee, cidewr, food, toilet rolls... you get the picture. If you feel really up to helping theres links on his Facebook where you can donate a few quid, all helps!!

Or text him (number available on Facebook, or email me hehe) and let him know that he has lots of support.

Hope that explains what Arthur is up to, why and what have you :D

Busy, Busy, Busy no time to stop today

2008-07-02T17:59:00.002+01:00

Please accept my apologies, I am still around, been a bit of a rough weekend, then have not stopped all week long... and its only Wednesday!!! Friday is the school fete, and as I volunteered for the vice chirpersonship, that means I have to help lol. I have spemnt three days sat in the school, along with fellow committee members, sorting out donations, labelling them for the tombola, folding raffle tickets , drinking coffee, gossing... no no honestly we have been working very hard!!

Then home baking cakes for the cake stall. Piles of cakes are still making their way out of my kitchen, some might even make it to the fete without the family devouring them all!!

Also occupying my time is Arthur Pendragon and his picket of Stonehenge ... but more of that later on .....

anyway the point of this post is to say I am around, am not ignoring anyone, just frantically busy and very very tired!! Will catch up properly later in the week. Hope to post again later this evening or tommorow in respect of Arthur!!!

Stagecoach Buses ... Tw@ts

2008-06-26T20:12:00.002+01:00

Today got a stagecoach bus to town with both the littlies. Skye being tired was in the buggy, Garin sat next to me. We had only been on the bus a minute, when we went round a roundabout. Now anyone who has ever been to swindon will know, that Swindon is (in)famous for its roundabouts. They are many in number, and many of them are not exactly easy to negotiate. Now unfortunatly we had a new bus driver, a female, probably her first day in the job, she had another driver with her anyway. So she tried to drive around this particular roundabout, not an easy one to negotiate, and due to her inexperience, hit the curb or roundabout, not sure which as was kinda distracted by the buggy, complete with Skye, went flying, Garin went flying, and I dived for them both. The kids both started screaming, I rescued Skye, a lady behind me rescued Garin and gave him a cuddle for me, someone else uprighted the buggy... and the driver panicked and did three circuits of the roundabout. her colleague shouted at her, then bellowed at me to see if I wanted an ambulance.

Injury list is not bad, Skyes got badly bumped legs, and having leg probs anyway is in a fair bit of discomfort tonight, she has a hot water bottle, and pain meds, hoping she will be less sore tommorow. Garin banged his scar on his head and thats looking a bit inflamed, but nothing major.

Injuries aside, what the hell are Stagecoach doing sending a driver out with so little experience to negotiate a really tricky roundabout? Surely common sense would have made sure that she was capable of handling a bus round the route befoire allowing passengers to be under her care? I do not blame the driver, poor woman had to get off the bus shorthly after, and her colleague took over. I blame Stagecoach, 100 percent. If they were halfway decent employers they would have trained the poor woman properly, made sure she got experience BEFORE they subjected her to taking passengers.

Styagecoach are a.. well don't know how I can describe them!!. I am in two minds what to do about this, I don't want the poor lass to get in trouble, but I do want to be sure that the comapny trains its new drivers properly.

Hope the driver is ok, and hope my littlies are soon over their bumps and bruises.

Any advice and what to do for the best?

A MeMe pinched from the Posh burd

2008-06-26T19:58:00.004+01:00

Do you currently have a hickey? Nope

Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone? My mum, to say that I had sent something to her!

What was the last thing someone said to you in person? Did they leave the keys in the door? (Gary about something on a soap opera)

What was your worst subject in school? Maths

What's your favourite Hannah Montana song? Who?

What is the best eye colours on a member of the opposite sex? Any other than black!!

Who is the fifth text in your inbox from & what does it say? A pagan friend - Solstice Blessings on one phone, the other has no texts as deleted them all

What's your favourite number? 10

What was the last movie you watched? The Green Mile

Do you have a Facebook? Yep

What are your initials? EC

Are you a good speller? Yes when I concentrate

What song are you currently listening to? The Weakest Link theme tune

Would you ever give your number out over the Internet? Nope.... actually yep and have done :S

How many and what kind of animals are in your house? 1 dog, 1 cat, 1 bird, 1 spider.

What would you say if your ex got enagaged today? Coo miracles DO happen!!

When is the last time you took a nap? Nap ? as in sleep? are you having a giraffe?

Are your nails painted? Nope

Would you ever stay with someone, just because you didn't want to
hurt them by breaking up with them? Hmm difficult one, so going to think on that one

Could you date someone taller then you? have no choice, not many blokes 4ft and under

What's the most interesting thing that happened to you today? You do not want to know

Are you single? Nope

What is the highlight of your week? Weekend was Solstice!!

What is one emotion you are feeling right now? Worried

Who did you hang out with yesterday? my kids

What are you currently doing? Watching Weakest Link

Have you told anybody you loved them today? Yes

Any plans for today? As its evening, nope!!

What is the last thing you ate? Errm a cheese and onion fry last night

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? yes

Are you a generally clean or messy person? Messy

Do you find the opposite sex confusing? Nope

When is the last time you cried? Today

Do you wish you were with someone right now? Nope

Are you gonna be home alone tonight? Nope.

Anything you wish you could tell someone but can't? Wish I could tell my dad I love him, but as he disowned me I can't

What is one thing you can't wait for? Dinner

Do you only drink bottled water? Nope

If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be? Nothing

What are you thinking about right now? I want my bed

Solstice weekend Avebury

2008-06-23T20:32:00.003+01:00

Settle down, grab a cuppa and make yourself comfy.... this may take some time!!

My Solstice weekend started on Friday, going to get my two man tent out the shed to discover it, along with some other kit, had been nicked. Pretty sure I know who it was.... Karmna will catch up with him soon ;)

Lack of tent notwithstanding, off we headed to Avebury, met up with a friend, whom I had bought a bigger tent off of, transferred the tent and accesories she had kindly included, into our car, then everyone dissapeared off. bear in mind my freinds were in a camper van, and the local plod were being a little over zealous, and were giving grief, despite friends having a blue badge.... lets just say that words will be had when I go in to the office this week. Not happy at all about it.

Headed off to pub, greeted by the darlin' Bill the Bard, a truly lovely man, a druid of several orders, who was among the first to welcome me to the pagan community.A quick drink, or so followed, well it was solstice hehehe. As the evening wore on, more and more of the community arrived, it was fantastic to see so many friends again, to meet with people that I had previously only chatted to online, meeting total strangers and becoming instant friends... In between times I was popping off to do quick circuits with a bag and a litter picker to collect the rubbish that certain eejits discard.

Darkness started to fall, and we headed into the circle, to perform the sundown ceremony, led by Teryy the Arch Druid of Avebury and Keeper of the Stones. We were incredibly priviliged to be visited by The Kings Drummers, see the Musical Monday below for the video, and yes before anyone (Dan) points it out yes the video was shot at Stonehenge, but its the same performance they did at Avebury. It was so kind of eerie and beautiful to stand in the gathering darkness, lit by flaming torches, watching this very talented group of people, drumming, dancing, performing. Brilliant!!! If you ever have an oppurtunity to see them, make sure you don't miss them, they really are worth the effort!!

Shortly after that, midnight arrived, and we headed off to another section of the stones, to assist with a handfasting or pagan wedding. I was greatly honoured to be asked to 'call a quarter', all went well, with the usual minor glitches courtesy of the F*** Up Fairy hehe, but the couple got wed, the ceremony went well, and everyone was happy :D Slightly disconcerting to discover post ceremony that the camera that had been pointed at us, was not as we all thought, just a very good wedding video comapny, it was in fact Channel 4 eeeeek, they had been following the Bride and Groom, will let you know if it ends up on TV

Finally about 2.30am I took my sleeping bag and curled up on a bench in the smoking shelter of the pub, no sleep to be had, as got chatting to my fellow smoking shelter refugees. Then we got invaded by a gang of silly girls from Marlbrough, who were so dim it was gobsmacking and so desperate to get off with the men in the shelter it was hysterical. Particuarly as the men were all older and looked at them aghast! Two kept pointing out that they had kids older than them, but the girlies were not giving up easily. Finaly after an hour or more they got the message and tottered off on their high heels to try elsewhere. Was offered a variety of drugs by one wanderer, which were declined politely. Then 4.15am still having had no sleep I rolled up by sleeping bag and headed off to the stones again, for the dawn ceremony.

Once again we were filmed, this time by an internet tv company (wtf is one of them when its at home?) and photographed by half a dozen hardy souls. There are pictures of me available on t'interweb, but I am not telling you where! You get a mars bar if you find them though :D

Dawn ceremony was beautiful, though it was a bit too cloudy to actually see the sun, nonetheless guided by Terry, we knew when it was risen!! Healing and peace vibes were sent out, particualry peace for the innocent victims of the wars around the world.

Ceremony over, a group of the Avebury Guardians including myself, headed off armed with our trusty bin bags and litter pickers and attempted to clear some of the detrius of the night. It totally astounds me, these people come to Avebury, allegedly to celebrate the spirtiual festival of Solstice. Yet they treat the sacred, historical and precious site, with utter contempt and total disrespect. Abandoning beer cans, bottles and varied sweet wrappers and other food related waste, in the middle of the stones... why? would they treat St Pauls Cathedral in the same way? Or a mosque? Would they treat their own homes like that? It is so wrong. utterly disgusting behaviour end of. Saying that, many many of the visitors did treat the place respectfully, whilst wandering along, came across a young man wrapped in a sleeping bag, guarding the belongings of him and his mates, he saw our bin bags and asked if we would tell him where he could dump their rubbish, they had, bless them, collected all their rubbish during the evening and night into a carrier bag. we naturally took the bag and disposed of it for them!!!

6am, rubbish duties over, I was soaked to the skin, despite four layers, my fellow druids all buggered off to various houses and tents so I rang a cab and sloped off home!! Fortunatly found three other people who wanted to head back to Swindon, so we split the cab fare, got home, rang Gary from the doorstep to let me in, and headed straight for the bath! I was so wet that even the base layer of four, (tshirt, jumper, coat and cloak) was so wet I had to wring it out hehe, a hot bath, a hot coffee (thankyou oh wonderful, beloved, darling hubs!!) and I crawled into a warm comfy bed for a few hours zzz's.

Crawled out about 11ish, found dry clothes and headed back to Avebury, this time with Gary and the kids, where we enjoyed an afternoon of singing and dancing, courtesy of the Gorsedd, well handled by Bill the Bard at short notice, who kept his cool despite some annoying behaviour from a couple of drunken idiots!! ( A certain lady Druid, not me, was very good at dealing with one of them, pinning him to her side with an iron grip on his wrist;) )Skye and Garin particuarly enjoyed themselves, clapping and dancing along! Once again I managed to end up calling a quarter, which was all good.

All in all, a fantastic, beautiful weekend, full of happy memories, new experiences, unforgettable moments and lots of fun. I have come home with new friendships formed, ready to take up the fight on new issues (Disabled access for solstice is the first ;) )

I think the only thing I find a little sad, is how many people turn up for solstice, yet don't bother for the other 7 sacred ceremonies of the year. Why turn up just for that one? Hmmm will have to ponder that one.....

Solstice blessings to you all on this the final day of Solstice having just watched the sun sink again. Tommorow we start the slow but sure plod towards winter, isn't that a cheery thought rofl

Musical Monday

2008-06-23T08:15:00.000+01:00

Will explain it later when I update the blog regarding my weekend away :D

Flood warning for Swindon area

2008-06-20T09:55:00.002+01:00

Warning of floods in the Swindon area today, particuarly in the vicinity of one particular West Swindon home, where a certain little Dora Princess has headed off for a whole day school trip to the zoo, without her mummy, whilst her big brother, is sitting his final GCSE and leaving home to move 85 miles away in preparation for college.

A certain mother is a bit of a soggy wreck at the moment

ROFL

2008-06-18T23:49:00.001+01:00

As a 1930s wife, I am
Superior

Take the test!

Rumours and chinese whispers

2008-06-18T15:46:00.003+01:00

I did write a beautiful, long and very heartfelt post to go here, but have deleted it without publishing it.So instead of a 2000 word essay I will condense it down to the basics.

IF you happen to have been told something about me, something not nice, then please have the courtesy to contact me and allow me to put my side of the story. If you choose to believe whats been said without giving me a chance, well thats up to you.

If you don't know what the heck I am wibbling on about then you aren't supposed to know and I aint telling you so ner ner ;)

I am disabling comments on this post, because I am not going to discuss the subject here. Please respect my wishes and don't put any comments anywhere else on the blog. If you need to contact me regarding any rumour you may have heard about me, then please email me on emmaoutwest@yahoo.co.uk, this is also my msn addy, if you prefer to communicate that way.

Karma

2008-06-17T11:14:00.002+01:00

Tagged by Dan... the short, fat, Druid makes no comment ......

TrueLifeKarma.com - Online Karma Test Click Here!

em, Your Karmic Alignment is: Enlightenment!

Score: 24 You have a lot of positive karma, and have good intentions in life. People would normally characterize you with being a kind, sensitive giving person. Remember that by creating positive karma seeds, they will soon blossom. If you work hard enough it is capable to gain enlightenment, and maintain inner peace.

Puppy farms

2008-06-10T13:24:00.002+01:00

Not long ago, we were given our new family pet, Nox the Cavalier King Charles. Due to various oddities in the (ever changing) story from the previous owner I have come to suspect that Nox may well have come from a puppy farm. This week whilst talking to another friend who is wanting to get a dog, I mentioned not to go near a puppy farm. My friend had never heard of them. On a dog rescue site I belong to I found again, people who had never heard of puppy farms. I guess that growing up in the world of dogs I have been surrounded by talk of the evils of puppy farms. This morning I sat down to google some information about puppy farms to show my friend.

I ended up sitting here, tears pouring down my face at the images I found.

So, here it is, my explanation of puppy farms, complete with links. I warn you, warn very strongly indeed, beware when you click on these links, they are without a doubt very distressing to dog lovers everywhere.

What is a puppy farm?

A puppy farm is a premises where dogs are bred in large quantities, for the purposes of making money. No consideration is given to the quality of the breed, very often the dogs are kept in horrendous conditions, bitches bred at every season, until they are so weak and ill from it they simply die, or are thrown onto the streets. The lucky ones are dumped onto already over worked rescue centres. Often puppy farmers will breed multiple breeds, usually the most popular breeds, labradors, GSDs, Pugs, Westies, Cavalier King Charles, cocker spaniels for example. Very very often, the puppies produced by these places are sick and ill, many die prematurely. Most will have 'breed faults', that is faults that are common in the breed, but which responsible breeders try very hard to eradicate through careful breeding, screening etc.

Puppy dealers

Puppy dealers, are for want of a better term, the shop front, of puppy farms. They buy puppy farm stock cheap, sell them at greatly inflated prices. As pet shops are no longer allowed to sell dogs and cats, so more and more dealers pop up to take their place. Dealers/puppy farmers ... they are the same dreadful trade. both as bad as one another.

How do you spot a puppy farm or dealer?

Look in the local 'free ads' paper. I bet you anything you like that you will spot them. They are the ones using Bold Print ads, advertising litters of several different breeds, particuarly those popular breeds, they will advertise every week, always the same breeds. Week in, week out, all year round. They will be able to find you a dog at short notice.... for tghe right price of course. These dogs will have come from puppy farms.

Are puppy farms really that bad?

I can only answer this question for myself, you readers, must make your own minds up. But whilst you consider that thought, have a look at these links. Have a look at the dogs on the GSD rescue website , they are not even all GSDs, but the pictures will affect every dog lover.

Or read the story of the rescue of 204 yorkshire terriers and 37 cats from a puppy farm in Sussex.

Even the BBC has investigated with Inside Out

Finally visit Hope UK Yet another site, dedicated to the camapign against these evil places.

Nearly every one of those links given above, will offer you good sound advice as to spottting and avoiding puppy farms.

Its dead simple really, if you buy a puppy farmed pup, not only do you risk getting alot more problems than you bargained for, but you condone the trade and encourage the growth of places like this.

The quickest way of putting puppy farms out of business is to simply not buy their 'products'. With no demand the supply will soon dry up.

Feel free to ask any questions. If looking for a pedigree puppy, the best tip I can give is to contact the breed clubs, find out from them, who has pups for sale. Many breeders will not advertise via the newspapers/freeads/exchange and mart etc. Many reputable breeders shun the idea of having a web site. Not all, I hasten to add, some very good breeders have web sites. Most don't though. A good breeder will ask you hundreds of questions, to the extent sometimes that you wonder of they work for the CIA!! You find someone like that, you will get a good, healthy pup. If the breeder has a 'follow up' service, where you can ring them if you are having any issues with the puppy, then thats a good indication that you have a good breeder.

If you would prefer a xbreed dog, then the best place in the world to go is the local rescue centres, they will always have puppies and older dogs in need of a good home. They will ensure the dog is healthy before it comes to you, make sure it is neutered, wormed, vaccinated, defleaed etc.

I will wriote further on this subject on another day, why do puppy farms even exist for instance? What you can do to help stop them... all the kinda jazz :)

Do click on the links above, do be warned though, that some of the images you see will be distressing.

Finakl word, please don't think this is just a UK issue. It is not, it exists all over thwe world, USA, Australia, Eastern Europe... wherever you live, I bet you will have a puppy farm problem in your area.

Ok lecture over for today :D

Musical Monday

2008-06-09T18:54:00.001+01:00

Its sunny today, so its got to be my all time fave sunny day song

Not feeling good :(

2008-06-08T18:22:00.002+01:00

Not felt good for a few days now, keep getting sweaty and clammy, arms go numb, head all dizzy. Really wish I knew what it was!! Anyway, thats why I am a bit quieter than usual, not because of anything else :) Hopefully this bug, well thats what I reckon it muyst be, will clear up and will be back to my usuakl self in a day or two .... meantime bleughy

Private again

2008-06-01T21:56:00.002+01:00

Gone to private settings for a bit, don't ask why, I won't tell you. If you know of anyone who wants to read thats not on the allow list, please let me know and I will add them :D

very strange creature spotted

2008-06-01T01:47:00.002+01:00

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

Skye makes front page

2008-06-01T01:41:00.001+01:00

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

Get MySpace Fame and see how famous you are!

Friendship

2008-05-29T00:38:00.006+01:00

What makes a good friend? Someone who shares your interests? your values? Lives near you ??? What changes an acquaintance into a friend?

I don't know that it is any one thing, I know people all over the world, some I count as friends, some as acquaintances, some I knew at school, some from the forces, some from various jobs, some from the pagan world, some through the CHD world. I have an eclectic old mix, young and old, different races, religions, social status ... but what makes some of them friends??

Friends should always be there for one another, friendship is a partnership, a meeting of two individuals, drawn together through circumstances but gelled together through a mutual liking. Friends forgive each other for their faults, they celebrate their differences and treasure their similarities. Friends will make sacrifices for each other, be it offering a shoulder to cry on, advice, a bottle of JD :D, they are there for each other!!! They try to empathise with each other, try to understand how each ticks.

My friends, are few, they know who they are, they are the ones who get to listen to me whinging, but also they are the ones who ring me when they want to whinge. They are the ones, who give as much as they receive. You know thats what I think friendship is about. Being there. I know a lovely lovely lady, I hope that she counts me as a friend as I count her as one. She is a much better friend than me, it must be said!! You see right now, she is having a real rough time, her little boy is awaiting major surgery, he is very poorly and she has to keep watching as he gets worse. Yet this wonderful lady, always always finds the time to ask ' How are you?' I text asking how her son is, she answers and everytime she ends her text with 'How are you? hows the kids?' shes not the only one, and I have learnt from these friends, what real friendships about.

This last week I have been thinking alot on this subject, in fact this post has been lurking in my draft folder the whole week, as I wrote, edited, rewrote, edited, rewrote it again and again. I wanted to get my thoughts straight really I guess. I have in the past 7 days experienced the best and the worst of friends. Someone who I had been there for through thick and thin, dumped on me from a great height last weekend, said some truly horribly hurtful things to me, made some truly awful suggestions to me, and left me feeling as if I wanted to crawl into a hole and never speak to another human being again. I felt as if I could never trust anyone else, that if this was how she, my good and dear friend felt about me, then how the heck did everyone else think of me. But then slowly as I started to pour out my feelings here, I started to re-emerge. Still very very hurt and still very wary, but no longer breaking my heart with sorrow over the way things had gone.

Today I got the very best of friendship. First thing this morning the door knocker banged. I rolled out of bed groaning, anyone knocking on a saturday morning usually means bad bad news!! but it was the post lady, and instead of her usual trick of handing me a pile of brown envelopes, she handed me a beautifully wrapped parcel. I knew straight away it had to be from someone in the heart kid world, instead of sellotape it was secured with micropore, believe me thats a heart mum thing, never find the sellotape but theres always rolls of micropore ... even here where we have no ng tubes rofl!! I opened the parcel, assisted of course by the littlies, to find a gorgeous piece of jewelery sent to me by another heart mum, who I had been in touch with whilst her son had been in hospital for a long period. I don't think I did anything mega special, just rang her occasionaly, and kept her up to date with all the gossip!! But it was obviously appreciated!! Thank you to that mum, I was happy to do it, would do it again anytime!! You are a special friend xx

I will support anyone who needs it, I will happily act as a go between/updater whilst kids are in hospital, I will even when I can, do hospital visits, complete with homecooked food for you to nuke in the ward microwave!!! I don't do it for any financial gain. I don't do it to be a creep. I do it because many years ago, my son lay in a hopital cot, desperately ill, and I remember vividly how hard that was. I was fortunate that my mum was able to help out, looking after my son whilst I took breaks away from the ward, but not everyone had that. I want to try whenever I can to be there to help. Believe me, when your child is lying there, and you don't know whats going to happen, in the next hour let alone the next day, week or year, then having someone to talk to, someone to share your worries with, who can google info for you and edit out the crap, someone who can come and share a cuppa with you... it means so much and makes such a difference. I will fight for any injustice I see, will set up a facebook petition to reverse an injustice, start petitions, protest, wave a banner.. !!! I have been through some really shite times, and I know from those experiences how important having someone to lean on is. So for all the times when I have had a friend to lean on, I want to give it back, pay it forward, backwards and sideways if needed!!!

At this moment in time, I need a bit of support. I have been dx with a condition that can kill, ARVC. I am facing the very real prospect that my kids have inherited the same condition. I am often in pain from arthritis and raynauds syndrome. I get chest pains from the ARVC. I have good days, days when I feel good, positive and happy. Then I get days when everything hurts, when the little voices in my sub conscious whisper reminders of all the future could hold for my family. Then I need a shoulder, a friend to turn to, an ear who will listen to my fears and help me to get things into perspective... strangely its those who have their plates not just full, but overflowing that seem to offer most!!

So thank you my friends, thank you for all the late night gossings, the pisstaking (who else would be able to make you smile when you just been told your hearts fecked!!), thank you for sharing your troubles with me, sorry for the times I have not been the best friend, thank you for giving me the friendships I have with you :) I appreciate and treasure you all more than you will ever know xxxxx

Heres to the future. To building ever stronger and better friendships.

At last ..... yeah right

2008-05-29T00:22:00.003+01:00

Post arrived this morning, among the usual bills, was a letter marked BRI. BRI is the hospital at which I am getting my cardiac MRI done, as I have been waiting since November for it, I thought Yay at last the appointments arrived. Took a deep breath and opened it ..... to be confronted with a letter advising me that I was on the waiting lisrt and they wanted to know if I still required the test.... WTF????? Well yes unless by some fricking miracle my heart has incredibly shrunk, stopped its arrythmias etc (which it hasn't for the record ;) ) then YES of course I still bloody well need it. So as requested on the letter I duly rang to confirm I wanted it. Only to discovber the woman who had sent me the letter, to whom I needed to speak, was on bloody holiday...........

Head meet wall, wall meet head ......

Oh now what was it they mentioned about trying to avoid stress.... well stop bloody causing it then you muppets.

10 things I thought today

2008-05-26T21:32:00.002+01:00

Tagged by Posh Totty

1. In bed 02:00 approx .... If he doesn't stop snoring I will stick a pillow of his head .....

2. about 07:00 ...' Oh garg its not time to get up already surely '

3. 10:00 ... whats the betting that the council don't turn up to collect my knackered fridge, even though they said it would be today AND I have paid them! ( For the record I was right ;) )

4. 11:00 Whys it always rain on bank Holidays when I need to go shopping

5. 12:00 guess I better get the kids in wellies and splash suits and go shopping

6. 13:00 Why have we got four odd wellies and no matching pairs, why does Garin always have a pooey nappy as soon as I get him into splash suit and out the door, and why does Skye always decided at the last minute that she wants to go wee........

7. 13:30 In AsDA, I hate Asda staff, need I say more

8. 13:40 .. In chemists... I have been buying Phenergan every year for the past 12 years, I buy it reguarly, so why do you have to give me the Spanish Inquisition every ruddy time?

9. 14:30 YAY Sound of musics on, wooooooooooooooo

10. 21:35 ... Oh God Posh has tagged me again !!

I tag ..Kelly , Karen and Kymm

Musical Monday

2008-05-26T05:31:00.001+01:00

Another one that I just got to love :D

UK media - is it guilty of racism?

2008-05-23T10:38:00.002+01:00

I was under the impression that incitement to racial hatred was a criminal offence in the UK, yet could the media here actually be guilty of that offence?

Just take the reporting of two very similar cases into account and judge for yourself.

Case one , an 11 month old baby is found starved to death. She is the youngest child in a family of four girls. Mum and dad, are jailed for manslaughter. Mum and dad are both what the government would refer to as 'white british'. The story makes headlines locally in the Wiltshire town where the family lived, as well as the county news. But so far, I have found no record of the terrible case being reported in any national newspaper.

Case two - a seven year old girl is found starved to death. she is one of six children. Mum and step dad are both arrested and have now been charged with causing or allowing the childs death through neglect. The story makes local news in Birmingham where the family lived, but this case also makes the national headlines as well as the national tv news. The family, it is widely reported are muslims, the children it is alleged were bullied at school after being 'made' to wear muslim dress.

In both cases, social services have been blamed, both families were visited prior to the girls deaths, in both cases social services failed to make contact and in both cases it is alleged that social services 'failed' to follow up the contact. ( Why do social services always get blamed ... thats a discussion for another day!!)

So why is it that Case one was not deemed important enough to make the nationals, yet Case two does? what are the differences between the cases? The girls were different ages? Surely a child being starved whatever her age, is of equal concern. The 7 yr old is reported as having been able to steal bread from a neighbours bird table, whereas the 11 month old patently could not have done so. Other differences? Number of siblings. The 11 month old had 3 siblings, the 7 yr old had 5.... hmmm not a major difference, both would be considered a 'large' families. Final difference... oh yes religion. The 11 month olds families religion is not reported, but the 7 yr olds family religion is. Both mothers were british born. The ONLY difference between the two families is the fact that one family was muslim.

It does make me wonder, it truly does, why did one story make such a huge story, whilst the other barely caused so much as a ripple?

Could it be that the british media is biased? Could they be guilty of inciting racial hatred against muslims? I will let you judge that one for yourself.

End of the day, the real tragedy here is that two little girls are dead. Two little girls who should be out playing in the sunshine today are both dead. Regsrdless of race, religion or social status, it should not have happened. Not here, not anywhere.

Fly high little ones, may you find happiness, peace and sunshine.

Feeling of deja vu

2008-05-21T20:30:00.003+01:00

just cannot shake the feeling that something I am reading, has happened all before. Maybe not word for word, but the same basic scenario. Hope I am wrong, and have no proof........ YET. But I bet I know whats going to happen next ... same old same old.

Should I say something and end up looking like the bad guy again, or shall I just wait and see if any of them notice. Think I will keep quiet, though warning to a certain person, if I am right and you are who I think yiou are... I have ways of catching you out love. I will too.

At last some Good News :D

2008-05-19T21:31:00.002+01:00

Gary got a phone call this evening, from the place he used to work, offering him a job. he is going back on the books as opposed to self employed, guaranteed hours etc starts tommorow!! Such a relief, a hell of a weight off all our minds and even better I get my house back to myself all day long! No more tripping over him every time I move rofl. I AM HAPPY !!!!!!

Musical Monday special edition

2008-05-19T12:34:00.003+01:00

Today I want to dedicate my musical monday offering to a super special little boy. Luke is two years old and he is waiting for major surgery on his poorly heart. He is full of mischief, full of smiles and is all in all a real little character. Poor Luke is too poorly at the moment to play much. Once he has had his surgery and he is home again, I know he will be King of the Mischiefs. So this is for you little man, I can't wait for you to be King either. Love and hugs to you, Mummy and Daddy. Love you all xxx

Babies don't bounce

2008-05-17T22:23:00.002+01:00

I am not an ace parent. I don't always keep to the rules of parenting,but there is one rule that I firmly believe no parent, no parent in the world should ever break. Strap your child in a carseat. every time, however short, however slow you may be driving.

If you want to know why, go read Nee Naws blog . then tell me you would still let your child travel unrestrained

This is just soooooo funny!!

2008-05-16T20:29:00.002+01:00

Just browsing theorugh ebay and stumbled across this, so so funny!! How she has got away with not being banned I don't know rofl. Guess King E Bay has a sense of humour rofl.

A Little Awwww moment

2008-05-15T11:01:00.002+01:00

A few weeks/months ago I saw an advert for a book in a magazine. The book was a knitting pattern book, and I fell hopelessly in love with some of the patterns!! I went straight to town and after trawling round all the bookshops, discovered that not only did they not have it in stock, it was not even being deliivered any time soon as it was listed for reprint. It would be some months before there was any chance of getting it, I was gutted.

So ebay ... surely someone somewhere would have it.... nope!! Three months of daily checking and YAY one came up .... and I was broke!! Typical eh, however I managed to raid the kids piggy banks, and ordered it. It arrived today, have a look and see what you think, the pattern I love most is not pictured on there but will get a photo later so you can see :D

Could only happen to us ... well maybe not rofl

2008-05-14T10:35:00.004+01:00

Now there's no doubting that my two yr old son keeps us busy, he is shall we say, a bit of a monkey and if there is trouble to be found, he will be in the middle of it. If there is danger, he finds it ... you get the picture he he

Well it would seem he is not the only one, should we ever fly anywhere this is just the sort of thing that would happen to us!!!

Yes folks, a family flying from Vancouver to Winnipeg, did not leave their luggage, tickets or passports at the departure gate, they left their 23 month old son!! In the rush to repack their luggage, and get on board the flight in time, the family became separated, and both sides of the family assumed the child was with the other ..... until a message reached them sometime along the journey asking if the toddler just discovered by security at the airport was theirs!!

Before anyone jumps on me, yes I know how much danger the poor, little chap was in, can totally see how lucky he was to be found by security and kept safe until his dad got back to collect him but I can also see the very funny side, partly maybe because this is exactly the sort of thing that could happen to almost anyone, certainly to a child like mine, who however many precautions you take, always finds himself some sort of mischief.

Glad he was reunited safely with his family, and hope they can build a happy and safe new life for themselves in Canada. Maybe this will spur on the airline industry to issue some sort of boarding pass for babies as well .... we will see!!!

Musical Monday

2008-05-12T09:56:00.002+01:00

With the weather as beautiful as it is at the moment, what else could possibly fit the bill but ....

what bumper sticker ....

2008-05-09T19:41:00.001+01:00

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

How redneck are you ?

2008-05-09T19:39:00.002+01:00

You Are 10% Redneck

I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style.

You ain't no redneck - you're all Yankee!

How Redneck Are You?