Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The troll - an open letter

This is an open letter to the person who has caused so much pain and distress, whom I posted about in my last message. Feel free to add your comments at the bottom. I will be emailing her a link to this page so she can see for herself just how much damage she has done

Dear Elaina,

Yes shock Horror I named you. Why? Because you deserve to be named. I understand totally why they have not named and shamed you on the Heart boards. To be honest I think most people have figured it out now and to go over and over it on there will destroy the purpose of that board, it will leave a constant reminder of the fact that you tried to damage a lot of people and the board itself. That board is there for SUPPORT and for Information. Its not for the likes of you to play out your twisted fantasies

Lets start at the very beginning, a very good place to start as Julie Andrews said.

You came on to the boards, you said your son was sick , Kristopher had, you claimed anyway to have pulmonary atresia with vsd. He was in surgery as you posted, and you , so you claimed were using a laptop in the hospital. I believed you. I had no reason not to. I did something then that I regret , I asked a lovely kind and caring lady to help you. She is not being named here, though she may wish to add a comment on the bottom!! She, I thought would be able to help you better than the rest of us because she was at least in the same country as you. She could put you in touch with other people at the hospital Kristopher was in, I also pointed you in the direction of the american heart boards , something else I now bitterly regret doing.

All went well with Kristophers surgery, then bang he was poorly again, his brain swelled and you and Ryan were told that Kristopher was brain dead. Not the first time that something like that had happened to a heart child. There was no reason to doubt the validity of your story. You got sympathy, messages of love and support.

Then came the first of the messages that raised doubt in some minds. You claimed that a top cardiologist from Boston childrens hospital was flying up to Michigan to see Kristopher. Then came the miracle, the cardiologist said Kristopher was OK, he was not braindead . The doctor took you out for dinner and bought presents for Kristopher and your stepson.

Two weeks later you took Kris home on oxygen. More alarm bells rang for mne at that point. having been involved in nursing, I wondered how they could sort out home oxygen so quickly, bearing in mind your age, and your oft stated state of poverty. But I bit back my doubts after making an initial enquiry into your location.

Then came yet another disaster , Kris was rushed intohospital with a virus, was discharged home with antibiotics, then rushed back in where he died.

People were sad for you Elaina, genuinely sad and distressed, many of those were people who had lost their own so precious children.

Then came the final lie, the one that convinced alot of people that you were a liar. You claimed that at ten weeks of pregnancy your new baby had been diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart , well as all the heart parents knew very well, diagnosis are just NOT made that early. Its impossible Elaina , the heart is too small and not fully formed at ten weeks. There is no doctor on earth who would EVER diagnose something like that.

A few members got together and started digging, one in particular,m
who again I will not name as I want to protect her identity. She is free of course to post her feelings here and identify herself if she wants to. She found another site. One where you had posted all sorts of things, but made no mention of your sons death, indeed the day you alleged he was rushed into hospital you were there posting all night long with never a mention of him being in hospital. I searchred for the doctor you said was a cardiologist from Boston kids hospital, guess what ?hes not a cardiologist !! He is in fact a fetal surgeon, he operates on unborn babies, and ONCE was involved in surgey on an unborn baby woth HLHS, No way would he have done what you claimed ! Nor for that matter would Kristopher received all the treatment you claimed off state funded care. You know that !! Anyone who has experience of US health care willknow that. You certainly wouldn't have had a doctor fly allthat way, and take you out for dinner or bring gifts !!! Lots of little things Elaina but all added up to one thing

Elaina Bell of Michigan you are a liar. Worse than a simple liar, you manipulated peoples feelings and dsetroyed people.

One person in particular, who had seen their own child suffer irreprable brain damage, who had been told their child was brain dead, who had had to make the awful decision to switch off the machines keeping her body alive. A person who together with his wife had been through the most awful time in their lives, who had to bury their beautiful daughter, who had to live with what had happened, who had struggled to come to terms with their loss. They SUFFERED. Truly SUFFERED. That person had read your lies Elaina, and it destroyed him all over again. You in his own words ripped out his heart and stomped on it .... for what ? So you could get a few messages of symapthy from total strangers.

Some may say you are mentally ill, that maybe you have a reason for doing that. Well sorry , I do not think that. Mental illness is a great excuse isn't it ? Well I can tell you Elaina, you are not mentally ill, twisted, evil, attention seeking BITCH yes, mentally ill. Not in my my opinion.

I wish you could see the devastation you caused or is that what you wanted ? Is that why you did it ? To cause pain and distress to people who had offered you nothing but love and support ? Or was it because you wanted a bit of attention? Are you just some sad, spoilt little teenager, too selfish and stupid to think of the consequences of your actions? I think the latter, spolit, selfish and stupid kinda sums you up in my opinion.

I will wait a few days, give people who read my blog a chance to post their opinions and their feelings. Then I will email you a link to this post. Read it Elaina, read the comments, see what you have done and then email me back and tell me ... do you feel good now ?

You claimed to be a pagan. Well as you didn't even realise that its a sabbat this week, then I doubt it, but if you are perhaps you would care to remember the rule of three . The damage you have caused with your actions, will be revisited on you to a power of three.

Think on Elaina

Oh and before you threaten, as no doubt you will , to sue be for libel, remember that I have all the proof of your lies. You would have to PROVE that you did not tell those lies !!! You did tell the lies, as well you know . I have spoken the truth here, therefore you cannot sue me.

The floor is now open for your comments .


kaybee352000 said...

Well said Emma, I am the one who you kindly didnt name who investigated the american site and helped dig up all her lies, i have no shame in doing that, infact i am so glad that by digging it helped to prove that this sick individual is lying. I have seen a person who i am close too lose her son at the same time but still offer her love and support and believe me that has made me mad, i have a son with HLHS i have lived the nightmare and i still do... To have someone trivilise it is just beyond belief, but it has stopped now because she has been exposed and she cannot hurt anyone else. Like a boil that has burst all her poison has gone and the mark will heal given time because she will not be allowed to win. Kymm xx

Dan said...

If you lived closer, you and I, we would be having some really serious words.

I am the one who's daughter suffered irreparable brain damage, but your updates made me question and doubt EVERYTHING I had done, EVERY decision I made, EVERY. SINGLE. THING. Everything that lead to my daughter passing away, you ripped open my eyes and made me thing that we had made the wrong decision.

How DARE you.

I almost felt compassion for you yesterday. I ALMOST thought "Maybe she needs help", but the more I thought about it, the angrier I got, and the sicker I felt. I almost emailed you, then thought "What's the point" but now Emma is here with this, I can tell you publically once again, how dare you make me think I killed my own child with my decision.

Please remember the old adage: What goes around, comes around. I posted on my blog about you yesterday here and how angry your lies made me. If you want to know about a real child with CHD, and what it's like to lose that child, here you will find a complete selection of posts on my blog about my little Bethy. Look at her, and tell me:

Does it make you proud? Do you feel PROUD and SPECIAL that you made me think I had killed her?

Enjoy the rest of your life.

Emma - sorry to rant on your board darlin.


Em's way said...

Rant away Dan ! I hope that by doing this we can all make the ignorant bitch realise what damage she has caused. Nobody deserved what you have been through the first time round, beiung forced to go over it all again .... beyond words. I have been so angry the past few days I have reguarly ended in tears. I can only begin to imagine what you have been going through. I know I get pissed off pretty reguarly, but this is more than that. I am so so angry.

If she was in the UK she would have quite a posse beating her door down by now, shes angered so many.

Hugs to you Dan .The people who matter in life know that you made the right choice for your daughter. You did NOT kill her , you loved her and gave her the best life imaginable and when the time came you freed her from the damaged and broken shell and let her fly free. She will ALWAYS be remembered with love and affection by people all over the world.

She was a very special little girl, with a very special family xxxxx

debbie said...

Oh I am finding this so hard to write, just reading what emma has wrote and the comments, I was one Elaina who sympathised with you I always had even to the point of Khristopher recovering, I thought well maybe just what a lucky person you were, I took me a while to work it out,, but it was the scan the gave it away in my book,, but reading what emma has posted well you really are A nasty piece of work, I am in tears and shaking at what Dan has been through because of you, I remember the texts I had that day Bethy became and an Angel, and to think that Dan was to doubt their descision because of you,, It hurts me like hell..
Yes I too have written about you on my blog

I hope you have the decencey in you to make an open appology to all, and a personal one to those you have hurt most..

Dan Darling, you know in your heart of hearts and we know you did what was Best.. I would have done the same darling, and i am hurting for you sweetheart.. just like it was yesterday..
sending hugs your way Dan

gemgems said...

I am Dan's sister and have to say you are one callous bitch. How DARE you make Dan and his family re-live the worst time of their lives. Dan is right, you do need help, a good smack about the head would just about do it.

All the people who helped you and were there for you who had to re-live all their own pain did not deserve to have someone like you mess with their heads.

What you put my brother through is totally fucked up and you should be grateful that you dont live over here because I would be paying you a personal visit.

(Sorry Emma I wouldnt normally come nosing over here but I was very mad!).

pam said...

Well said Emma, And im so sorry Dan that you have had to relive this hun there is sadly some very sick individual's out there.
I have been sitting here for last few days thinking where do i know Elaina bell's name from and i have just realised where about 2 years ago the same woman was posting on an infant loss group about her son Kristopher and he had the same HLHS.(supposedly).This lady got found out due to when joining the support group you have to give details on your loss and picture's if possible.A year later another lady turned up on the group and had the same picture it was then that Elaina was found out.We only found out this lady was lieing after a year of giving her compassion and helping her.It makes me sick.I felt sick to the stomack and it made me not want to belong to a group anymore as it was bad enough going through the loss of a child, how the fuck can people pretend to go through this pain i tell you i wouldn't put my worst enemy through this every day of our lives we live this pain sometimes i feel better than others.
I wish i could get my hands on this Elaina because believe me 20 seconds with me and she would be sorry.I'm sorry Dan i didnt realise this ladys name before this lady did as much damage as she did hun.It's only talking to my friend on the group and her telling me the lady's name that it hit me i knew her from somewhere i feel so guilty i didnt realise earlier so i could have spared you this pain. But im sorry this doesn't stop here she was also found on a group lieing again as of 9 months ago but this time she had 7 angels, I'm pleased to say that all angel groups have changed there policy on letting people join without evidence now it's sad but at least it stops us angel mom and dads from hearing or speaking to these sick individual's.
big hugs to you dan from pam and char

Mand said...

I am lost for words, to be honest Elaina there is a part of me that really has nothing to say to you, I feel as if I am wasting presious words saying anything to you. But then there is the part of me that wants to know why? why did you do it? what did you hope to achieve?

Did you actually realise that the names on the heart forum are not just names on a screen we are real people, real people with real feelings, people who wacth our children go thru a living nightmare time and time again. Did you ever stop and think what impact the things you were doing & saying would have on us and the hurt and heartache you may cause?

You are a very stupid little girl Elaina and at first my immediate reaction was you needed a bit of attention or maybe it was some kind of cry for help, but the more iv heard about the scale of hurt you have caused to many of my friends the more I am bubbling with rage, you are a complete sick and twisted bitch, what you did was unforgivable.

I would also like to say Dan, although I dont know you personally I do know of Bethy and her story and I am so so sorry this sick and evil bitch made you doubt yourself, I can not even begin to find the words to make things any easier for you, but I wanted to send you some (((hugs)))) and let you know I am so sorry you have been made to go thru this and let you know I am thinking of you xxx

All I can add to this is Elaina, I hope you will spare us a moment of your time to pop a note on here and explaine to us why you did this and what you hoped to achieve, I feel you owe us that much at least.

DafadDdoniol said...

I'm speechless, I can't believe that it gets worse every time I look!

One crazy sick individual.

I don't know you either Dan, but I have looked at your blog and followed Bethy's story, I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.

I really am lost for words

g-man said...

As a reader of Dan's blog, I read his story after his (and Jo's) healing had begun. I was delighted to know that that they were moving forward. I was completely appalled at what I read, and felt horrible for the needless pain and suffering not only for Dan, but for all the people touched by what Elaina wrote.

As only one voice in a chorus I would hope that Elaina would open herself and offer an explanation so that the second round of healing can begin.

debbie said...

I cant believe this that reading Pams comment you are a serial offender at this, I am lost for words I hope that there is someone who can get you to say why the heck you did this.. it is unforgivable..

The Special Zipper said...

For about a year now, I have followed Dan's families lives and when this all happened, whilst I didn't know the details, I knew Dan was going through hell.

I am in shock to see that you are a recidivist in this type of 'performance'. I suggest you get some help really really quick because one day, your thoughtless actions may push someone further than the breaking points you have already pushed them.

I always try to see the good in people .. I struggle to see any. If this has all started as a result of some tradegy of your own, which appears unlikely from the amount of apparant fraudulent information, you should clearly understand what damage you have caused.

I agree with G-Man ... have the guts to take responsibity for you actions .. that is explain them to the people that don't understand why you have caused them such incredible hurt, so that just maybe they can get on with further healing as per G-Mans suggestion.

Dan - you know our thoughts are with you ... as they are for others that have been affected.

I just hope attention is not what the person is seeking as I then wonder if she is still getting what she is seeking ....

kelly said...

i am so speechless and sit here in tears. you have done so much damage. i feel absolutely foolish to have been sucked in and helped you when i believed your son had the same condition as my son. when you said he died i remember feeling he had the same as my son, could he die to? I was devastated. i still am. you have caused us all such pain. i have questioned myself, should i leave the boards? i cant go through this again but no for every one of you there are hundreds of genuine people who need support and have been a life line to me. you have almost robbed me of the one thing that keeps me sane. thanks for that! Dan, i dont know you but i want to say how sorry i am that this person has caused you such pain and we all wish we could change that. kelly x x

Allie310 said...

I want to first open handedly apologize to all of you on here that are truly offended by what has happened. Elaina is the niece of my fiance and believe me, we have ALL, each one of us, been told something different. We cannot get a straight answer from Elaina. Her uncle as well as everyone, is trying to deal with this situation the best we know how before perhaps getting professional assistance.While this does not pacify or excuse the stories she has made up, I feel she is a very confused and attention seeking girl. I myself, unable to have children, am not pleased at all with this situation. Again, I apologize for all the hurt she has put out there.

Allie310 said...

to all of you, this is elaina's uncle. as my fiance' has stated...let me on at least my families behave appologise to all of you. none of you deserved her social ineptude. elaina has a child was always making up stories and not to excuse her behavior because believe me...the family and even her own mother is sickened by all of this. my hope is that she has not taken financial advantage of any of you. she is though an adult and must therefore accept the consequences to any of her actions. we feel sorry for her. currently, to make you all aware, elaina is stating she is pregnant again and due in february....her mother and everyone else is unaware of this. in fact her mother is stating she is currently dieting and trying to lose "the baby weight" from before. my family and i pray that elaina will get whatever help she needs and again, we are truly sorry she put you all through this. god bless you and yours.

Allie310 said...

as elaina's uncle all i can do is tell you all every time i read these messages is im sorry. i hope you can forgive a young girl who has made some rather stupid descisions. for all of you and all of your pain know that as her uncle i am trying to call her out on her lies and trying to still see the good in my misguided niece. if any of you would like to comment or perhaps help fill in the missing pieces of this confusing puzzle please feel free to email me @ take care.

jrogge said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jrogge said...

To all of you,
This is Elaina's parents and we want to also apologize for Elaina's actions. We were also told her baby had a heart problem and needed surgery. We had no reason not to believe this to be true. We know that she WAS pregnant and LOST the baby. Again, we humbly apologize for any difficulties this may have caused any persons that are dealing with any type of birth defect with their loved ones.

Em's way said...

This is to any members of Elainas family who may have replied ( forgive me for doubting your identities but sure as you will appreciate, after recent events we have all become a lot more wary of everyone).

Elainas actions were of her own doing. No one elses.HERS. If she is 'mature' enough to have a bay then shes mature enough to take responsibility for her actions and for the consequences of those actions.

In places on the net that Elaina has posted she claims to be a baby sitter . That concerns me big time. She makes up so many different stories, all designed at getting attention. What happens if she IS a babysitter and she decides to harm a child in her care to get the attention ? Its happened before in this country and have no doubt its happened many many times in the USA. IF as has been claimed she is mentally ill, then she needs help, IF she is 'just a mixed up kid' then she needs help. If on the other hand she is just a very wicked evil twisted bitch... she needs locking up.

You as her family can apologise, but it changes nothing really, Elaina has caused this trouble. Elaina must take responsibility.

You say she lost her baby. Wecome to our world. I lost a baby, my son Jack. Many many people reading Elainas lies also lost babies and children.

They do not go round all these different websites lying about stuff, tearing apart other peoples lies... thats SICK.

I am sorry for the family, Elainas lies are causing even more damage. But I am not going to make allowances for her behaviour because her family apologises. Its HER that needs to be apologising and to be honest at this stage even that might be too late.

Elaina needs help. If she is not going to seek that help, then that help might just need to come to her.

I do not hold Elaias familyt responsible. I hold Elaina responsible.

kaybee352000 said...

I have also read the comments made by Elainas family and IF it is her family i believe they need to do something, to be quite honest their apologies are irrelevant what i would rather read is that they have sort help for her so that Elaina can not hurt people with her lies again. One of her lies you as a family may be interested in, is that they couldnt afford a burial plot for Kristopher and so he has been buried in her mums garden... As i say a sick individual who needs her family to take the initiative and get her the help she needs before she causes a tragedy. Kymm

debbie said...

To Elaina's Family,

I would like to say thank you for your comments but you can in now way appologies for the hurt she has caused, she must do that herself.. But this baby thing has me really worried, I have joined a moms group to watch Elaina, and you will be surprised to hear that she is infact trying for a baby on there site, asking for all sorts of help on monitoring temperature charts to pinpoint ovulation as she is currently having trouble conceiving... in my time I have lost babies early on,, and I can tell you she will hurt loads more on this moms site.. I for one would love to post to all she is a compulsive Liar on there..

debbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elaina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elaina said...

Ok for some reason my apology got deleted and I didn't mean for it to, I want to say again that I'm sorry for any pain and suffering I caused any of you. I wont go back into full detail like my other post said but I want you all to know that I didn't mean to hurt any of you and I do know what its like to loose a child for real. We did really loose Kristopher, yes it wasn't how I said it to be on heartline but it did really happen. I'm doing what I can to fix my life now, including getting help in any way possible. I understand you cant forgive me for what I did and I don't expect you to or blame you for hating me I will leave you all alone now and let you go back to your lives as I'm going to go back to mine and work on me.

Em's way said...

Too little , too late Elaina. I do not call THAT an apology. Nor do I believe you have lost a child. Sorry but NOBODY who has been through that pain for real would ever ever lie about it happening in a dfifferent way.

Elaina this has gone far too far. Its now in the hands of the people who need to know. they will protect any child from you in the future. Shame they cannot protect the people whose lives you have torn apart really.

You really do not seem to comprehend the damage you have done. I for one do not believe a single word you have said. Not ONE word !!! Your own family have said that you are an accomplished anfd long standing liar. They do not believe you , why the hell should any of us ?

kaybee352000 said...

Elaina, That pathetic attempt at an apology is not good enough, it doesnt even come close. You make me sick, you have taken peoples lives and you have trampled over them, you have hurt one person very much and you have caused a friend of mine who i care for a lot, a lot of hurt too, she has a REAL son with a REAL condition a condition that is the same as Kristopher supposedly had, she opened her heart to you and supported you even though when Kristopher supposedly died she was terrified for her own son, she even contemplated leaving the board because she felt so used but thankfully scumbags like you will not beat her. You dont even realise what you have done to the people already mentioned and to the rest of us and nor do i believe you even care. I have a REAL son who has HLHS, i live daily with the fear this could be the last one he could have, i deal with the heartbreak of handing him over for surgery not knowing if i will get him back alive, i see him struggle every day to do what you take for granted, i hope with all my heart that one day you will struggle to get through each day.

I do not believe Kristopher ever existed, i do not believe that anybody who knew the pain of losing a child would want to inflict pain on another human being.

I also do not believe you worthy of sympathy, infact i never thought i could feel more disgust for you than i already did, but i was wrong, you sicken me and i hope that one day you will feel some of the pain you have inflicted, that you will cry some of the tears that you have caused and that you will wonder what on earth you have done to deserve the pain you feel and then i hope you remember why you are feeling it. Most of us dont deserve the pain we feel, you do. To be honest i hope you rot, you go back to your life as you so calmly put it but remember we are all out there wishing you the worst. Kymm

Elaina said...

Oh Yeah by the way I have cried and cried and cried so I hope that gives you some sort of satisfaction because I guess thats what your looking for. I don't mean that in a mean callus way but you have no right to think that I have not been upset by this.

Elaina said...

Ok I was going to leave this alone and try to get on with things in my life because I believe that I have the right to do so and I wasn't going to be angry with anything you said because you have all right to be angry at me as well. I know you may not believe a word I say about loosing my son but it happened and even my own father who I know posted that told you that I lost him. I have to say that my family would not lie about something like that for me especially because they want to help or at least my father does and they saw me when I was very obviously pregnant with him there is no way to "fake" that. I'm not expecting you to feel any sympathy for me nor do I want you to. I understand you lost your children or have hurt children well I do too they are not living but I have 3 angels and I do know what it feels like and I have a feeling thats part of the issue I have. Yeah I know you say its not a medical issue but to me it sure feels like it. Regardless I tried to say I was sorry like so many people wanted to me to say. I'm sorry if you don't believe any of it but I do mean it. I have been dealing with all of this for the past 24 hours since I talked to my dad and have taken measures to fix it the best I can. If thats not good enough then I don't know what else I can do but say it again, I'M SORRY FOR HURTING ALL OF YOU. Thats all I know to say. I cant repair what happened to you or your families but I also have a right to have a life which you seem all so happy to take away from me for some odd reason and that to me seems like you want to stoop to the same level I did to lie about things. I know nothing can take back what I did as much as I wish I could I cant and I do wish I could take it back because this is hurting me too which I guess was your plan. I'm trying to not get mad and make this whole thing worse because I can only imagine what you want to do to me. So I will leave it at that for now but I'm trying I will say it as much as I have to so you all understand that I am truly sorry.

debbie said...

Hey ELaina,

Ok you say your sorry, just how sorry are you.. are you sorry enough to make a appology to the Heartline moderators for them to put online to show then why you said the things you fabricated.. ok you say mis carried.. but what I have read you seem to have a few but you dont seem to be that bit remorsefull or scared of it happening again.. you all seem to be a sympathy junkie.. if you lost a baby that had a Heart condition and this started the whole fabrications up,, then you need some serious medical help. Stop deceiving people.. But what I hate most Elaina is the people who really cared for you felt for you and also the people who thought they have done the wrong thing when it came to there own children lives.. You hurt very good friends of mine and that upsets me Elaina,, but I just don't know what to beleive about you any more..

Em's way said...

Elaina I could almost laugh at your attitude ! Laugh that would be if you were not so pathetically self centred.

You want US to Fell SORRY for YOU. No Chance whatsoever of that happening. You do not deserve sympathy or concern.

You don't like what people have said to you ? You are upset because instead of saying 'there, there poor dear' we have told you exactly what we think of you ?

TOUGH !! You get what you give in this world Elaina. if you are upset then you have only one person to blame, YOU>

Oh and for the record, pregnancy is easy enough to fake, been done many times, time is up for you. All your actions and all your details, together with proof of the above have been handed to people who will make damnity sure that you are never able to harm a child.

Truth here. I think you are capable of harming a child if it brings you the attention you crave. You will not be able to get away with it though because whilst you may not give a damn about anyone other than you, I do !!

You are a dangerous individual. You have not given one word of explanation as to your actions. Have you gone back and told all the other websites where you lied the 'truth'. No because you are still lying aren't you?

This is the end of the discussion Elaina.

I ask everyone who reads this to now stop posting in response to Elainas comments. She is once again trying to get us all upset, angry, sympathising .... so lets not give her what she wants. She is now very well aware of exactly what we think of her. She is unhappy that we have given her back some of the crap she handed out so freely. She hates it. GOOD !!

Em's way said...

For the record I am rejecting all comments left on this subject now. Whoever they are from !!

Elaina, you need to remember that it was more than one website you attacked with your lies. It was because of one of the other sites that the most damage was done .