Things I have learnt about my children

1. When they are quiet and out of sight it is NEVER a good thing

2. Dozing off, however tired I may be, when my children are quiet is NEVER a good thing

3. When I call my kids to watch their favourite TV programme and they don't hear IT MEANS TROUBLE


4. When I go to fetch my children, they emerge from the bathroom looking innocent, IT MEANS TROUBLE

5. When I ask my beloved daughter what they have been doing and she smiles sweetly, and says ' Nuttink mummy' IT MEANS TROUBLE

6. Two large tubs of baby powder goes a very long way when sprinkled liberally around the bathroom, over the washing basket, down the toilet ....

7. When a bottle of baby shampoo is added to the mix it makes the most incredible, highly slippery sludge

8. When you add water, to baby powder, it becomes like glue ....

9. When I am wearing a holter monitor, the above scenario gives a perfect opportunity to demonstrate the intensity of palpitaions under stress.

10. If you hear alot of screaming about 6pm... I am not murdering or torturing my children, they are being sent to bed early, with no sweets and no dvd!!!

PS First one to laugh gets them by parcel post!!!