The Birds and the Bees ....

Well,knew the day would come, as it does with all children, but why do my kids always choose the most inappropriate time and place to ask those questions.

Picture the scene if you will. In the pub in Avebury, on a busy Saturday, surrounded by our friends. On the table a dozen eggs, just bought from a friend who keeps chickens.

S (daughter): if we put those in an incubator like they do at school, we can get chicks and then we can have our own chickens

Me: No we can't sweetheart, they aren't fertile eggs

S: They are mumma, if we open them there will be a chick in them

Me: No they won't, they are just eggs, nothing else

S: So how do the chicks get in them?

Me: *oh no not now* - well, you know where babies come from? Its like that

S: How ARE babies made Mumma?

Me *oh why now???* Well, the Mummy's have the egg, and the Daddy gives the Mummy a seed, and it turns into a baby

S: I see ....*ponders* so the Mummy eats the Daddy's seed and gets a baby

Me: *not wanting to give her misinformation and scar her for life* Well not quite , the daddy has a special way to give th mummy his seed

S: How?

Me: Erm, well *oh shit, here goes* well you know what boys have that girls don't?

S: No

Me: well what does your brother G have that you don't?

S: *enlightenment dawns on her face* Power Rangers!!

Me: AAAGGGGHHHHHHH

G: She does have a Power Ranger, shes got the girl one

Me: Lets discuss this when we get home shall we?


Rest of the pub : Hysterical roars of laughter

G: I know how Daddys give the seed to the Mummys, they wait til the Mummys are asleep then drop it in their mouths whilst they are snoring

Me *sob*