Why ?

There are days , like today, when I hate my world, and I wonder what the hell is going on. Children are not supposed to die, they are supposed to grow up, they are supposed to bury us, not the other way round. They are supposed to be born ' perfect' all pink and gurgly, smiling, happy and healthy. Thats what the media would have us believe, but you know what its crap. Not all babies are born like that, some , probably more than you realise, are born with things wrong with them. Some go on to live long lives, some don't.

Today another little child became an angel. Little Ben was only four years old. He had heart defects, he had stomach problems. Lats month he had open heart surgery, from which he recovered quite well, but just weeks later he was back in hospital after developing problems with his tummy, he had another operation. All seemed to be going well, last week I rang his mum on the ward, when I asked to speak to her there was an awful pause, Ben was in ICU , he had suffered a perforated bowel and was critically ill. He fought so so hard, despite suffering a major stroke, Ben would not give up, but sometime overnight Ben lost his fight.

Ben was a beautiful, happy little boy, loved and adored by his entire family. So why was he taken ? Why were any of the beautiful children we have got to know, taken ? It makes no sense. No sense at all.

Ben , I will never forget you , sleep peacefully little man, and watch out for all the other heart angels, they will be waiting to show round the angels playground xx

My love and thoughts are with Bens family, wish things were different :( xx