Friday, November 10, 2006

See you Ben

Yesterday, was Ben's funeral. I wish it hadn't been. I wish with all my being that he had not had a funeral, that he had never needed a funeral. But he did. And it was a beautiful occasion. His parents did him proud, standing up to both give a eulogy to him, battling against the tears they were so so brave.

This post is dedicated to Ben.

Ben, you were a wonderful, amazing, beautiful, bright, sparkly and very cheeky smiled little boy. Throughout the time I knew you that smile was never far away, sometimes just peeping out, but never absent. Your big brown eyes sparkled with life, with laughter, and when someone met you Ben, they never ever forgot you.

You battled throughout your life, yet never let those battles overcome you, always bouncing back, and where many a grownup would give in to moaning and grumbling you bounced back with that smile, guaranteed to win the hearts of al who met you and also guaranteed to get you whatever you wanted !!

I never believed that the final battle would be too much, I believed with all my being that somehow, someway you would beat it, and we would see you once again , running round the playpark, grinning from ear to ear, chomping on your biscuits and giggling in your indomitable way. When my phone rang on October 31st, I did not expect for one minute what the news would be. I didn't cry at first Ben, because the news just wouldn't sink in, Ben's gone. .... No, somebodys got it wrong, it can't be Ben, hes going to be fine. Slowly though the news did sink in and I wept , I shouted and screamed at the unfairness of it all. I cried for your mummy and daddy, and for your big sis. They had fought with you, side by side, through all your battles. Now you were gone, the last battle just too much for you.

I don't think I will ever understand Ben, why you had to go. But I will never ever forget you xxx