Saturday, April 28, 2012

A trip to Brizzle

This week two friends, who for their protection, I will merely refer to as R and C, and I decided to head off to the vices that is Bristol. Locally known as Brizzle. Now Brizzle is a big city, with lots and lots of shops . Which like most cities means that there is not too much room for city centre parking and what there is tends to be hard to find and pricey. So we decided that using the Park and Ride would be a much better plan. Its not difficult really, follow the satnav directions to the park and ride, park, jump on bus ..... But then that would be boring wouldn't it? Oh yes, in typical FU Fairy fashion, things did not go quite THAT smoothly. It's not our fault, no really truly it isn't. We did exactly what the sat-nav told us to do. Except it got it a little, tiny bit wrong. Like telling us to take the next right turn, just before Lidl's when it REALLY meant to take the right turn after Lidl's. So, having taken the wrong right turn, we found ourselves on a housing estate ... following the Tesco bus. In an attempt to escape the Tesco bus, we turned the opposite way to it. A short way down this new road, and still hopelessly lost, we pulled up by the side of a petrol station and carwash. Two men were stood there, so we asked them if they could please help us and direct us to the park and ride. ' Well, now moi deeears' one answered, in broadest Bristolian accent.' You are miles from it now, what you need do is, well actually, theres two ways to it, but if you go that way its a very country road and a bit windy, you'll not be liking that, so the best way to go is back down the way you be coming from, and then turn right, then keep on that road til you turn left, then stay on that road and go right then right again and follow that road all the way til you get there ' Now that's not too difficult is it? After all we are three, intelligent, sensible women, what on earth could go wrong? So off we set again, u-turned and went back down the road, turned right, and then .... well then we started nattering and talking about the man who had given us directions, imagining his grandad stood in the same spot, 80 yrs ago, leaning on a gate and chewing a straw.... he was that kind of man really. Trouble was we were so busy nattering we forgot to turn left ... and suddenly there it was ... the bloody Tesco bus!! Only this time it was turning round and heading straight for us, we skipped past and suddenly realised we were facing a dead end. EEEEEEKKKK, R who was driving, swung the car round in the wake of the bus, and to shrieks from myself and C of 'Follow that bus' we headed back, turning this way and that in pursuit of the bus, hoping to spot Lidl's ....But it wasn't Lidl's we spotted. Oh no, not us, we spotted .... THE PETROL STATION/CARWASH AND THE SAME MAN STILL STOOD OUTSIDE! We looked at each other, and started laughing. R drove past, studiously looking in the other direction, whilst C, who was front seat passenger, sank as low as she could in the seat and pretended that there was something fascinating out her window, whilst I sat in the back had to resist the urge to wave at our friendly direction giver, whilst mopping the tears of hysterical laughter that were pouring down my face. This time, we managed despite the fits of laughter to find our way and found the park and ride. Out we jumped and headed for the bus, only by this time we were all dying for a wee and C and I were dying for a smoke. So first things first, loo and smoke. Whilst waiting outside the loo, we were approached by a couple. ' When's the next bus due? and do we pay on the bus or here?' erm no idea, why not ask at the travel info office just there... hmmm it's going to be one of those days isn't it hehe The shopping trip began, and was highly succesful, well it would with fabric shop, chocolate shop and book shop, Subway and coffee in Starbucks. However one final moment of hilarity occured, as we were heading to the book shop, R noticed the church over the road, she commented on its beauty, only for a elderly gent to accost her and proceed to give her the complete history of said church .... C and I being the good friends we are, of course extracted her from this sticky situation .... yeah right, we scuttled into the coffee shop and hid behind the shelves crying with laughter!! Ah, it was a lovely day out. But next time, we may take the map instead of the sat nav pmsl


Diz said...

ah yes - THAT fabric shop... If you wear dark glasses and take migraine meds you might brave their 90s style website, and print off some discount vouchers - we had 20% off for Leap year day